"Everyone's so open and friendly" is a lie

[AlyaNimfa]

I be mature about things and handle it without being obnoxious or rude. I've had countless people literally scream in my face, or over the phone, it's like water off a ducks back to me now.
When it comes to online, I go grab a coffee, or have a short break and come back if things are real bad. There's just no real need to be rude, and it gets you nowhere. Other than even more worked up.

[FusiaRain]

Not necessarily your own. I personally don't have kids either but I do have to go places where kids are, like.. outside. However kids are just one of many examples. Another being work, yet another super frustrating environment sometimes. How do you stop swearing at work? Hitting people? Lashing out in any way?


While of course actual dysfunctions or chemical imbalances are somewhat examples but like managing anything else you should not put yourself in the situation if you understand you could "lose control".


... maybe work on that. Self control is a skill to be exercised.



Y'all are focusing too much on the kids part. It's the control part that I'm asking about. You think up your own example and I'm sure you know of at least one: "what do you do when you're in a frustrating situation where you aren't allowed or just shouldn't swear?". Or is your life entirely structured around NOT being in those situations? I'd be impressed. The point being playing FFXIV is one of those situations we've ALL put ourselves in. It's known we probably shouldn't swear in anything other than secure interactions between known quantities. Is it really that hard to limit ones self? Is the rest of everyones lives just full of outbursts and structured around never putting themselves in a place they can't do it?

Well simple under breath sware and knowing most the people around me with how they are that they are harming themselves.

Also shopping at night and the places I go for my styles kids arent really in those stores, or they are things I have to custom order. Honestly can avoid them irl completely.

But to answer your question I think of irl in fantasy terms which for the most part keeps me calm plus digging my nails into my arm to remain calm has been a habit since I was 15

[Rinhi]

Is this directed at me?

you and others who have posted similar posts, yes

Who says I don't get frustrated?
I just manage to interrupt the "FIRETRUCK" before it goes all the way through from brain to fingers to enter key. I'll even swear out loud. I'm just wondering how people whack out swear words in text and seemingly have absolutely no chance to stop it before blamming that out.

others are more impulsive than you (or I for that matter, unless you count 'damns' as a swear word :P), and considering that a simple 'frick' or two can apparently net you visit by a gm, I do think that posts like yours and others about how "easy" it is to not swear aren't helping and feel more like you're poking fun at people who lose their temper in some way or form, sometimes not even aimed at anyone in particular or even themselves

EDIT: What do you do when dealing with say.. children? Children are notoriously frustrating to deal with, but are also generally not OK to swear around (kids learn new words really fast! especially if you don't want them to and they LOVE words that get reactions), so what do you do in real life when you get frustrated but are not allowed to or just shouldn't swear?

I don't swear in front of children or in front of people, only if the situation warrants it in the latter example, i.e. a car speeding past me/someone close and almost hitting someone, a "what the frick" might escape my lips in a situation like that
at the few places I've worked/am working, no one really batted an eye when someone lets out a little swear out of frustration, unless it's aimed at someone since we're all adults and know that some things are just so frustrating that you need to vent your displeasure immediately

When it comes to online, I go grab a coffee, or have a short break and come back if things are real bad. There's just no real need to be rude, and it gets you nowhere. Other than even more worked up.

basically this, though I admit I was a bit more hot headed in my younger days
but I also completely understand the frustration some people can have in this game for various reasons, generalising and judging someone over what may have been a culmination of a lot of grief and stress and unloading into some swear words in a videogame isn't the nicest thing to do, imo

[Krotoan]

you and others who have posted similar posts, yes

This wasn't implying that I , or anyone else who has managed to not swear in game, are BETTER than anyone. We're all just people and I accept that means we're very different. I'm not some emotionless lump or implying I am a master of self control. I'm trying to point out though that implying the rules are at fault for someone doing what they're trying to prevent is kinda a backwards way to look at it. The rules assume people have basic self control and can operate in a "family" environment. This is literally what is agreed to by hitting the "play" button.

others are more impulsive than you (or I for that matter, unless you count 'damns' as a swear word :P), and considering that a simple 'frick' or two can apparently net you visit by a gm, I do think that posts like yours and others about how "easy" it is to not swear aren't helping and feel more like you're poking fun at people who lose their temper in some way or form, sometimes not even aimed at anyone in particular or even themselves

are you talking actual "frick" or the ..actual word we all think when we say frick?
I'm not poking fun at anyone. I'm hoping they can look at what's going on and go "oh.. the problem isn't I'm getting CAUGHT swearing, maybe I could.. not swear where they don't want me to.".

I don't swear in front of children or in front of people, only if the situation warrants it in the latter example, i.e. a car speeding past me/someone close and almost hitting someone, a "what the frick" might escape my lips in a situation like that
at the few places I've worked/am working, no one really batted an eye when someone lets out a little swear out of frustration, unless it's aimed at someone since we're all adults and know that some things are just so frustrating that you need to vent your displeasure immediately

OK so you personally likely have a handle on your own frustration and control yourself based on situation, surroundings and appropriateness. Again you, like I , understand that frustration is not an excuse correct? So a suggestion that maybe not swearing where you're not supposed to be swearing isn't some jab and might be a reminder that whether or not you want to or are used to swearing all the time, you have to consider where you're are at the time.

[Rinhi]

This wasn't implying that I , or anyone else who has managed to not swear in game, are BETTER than anyone. We're all just people and I accept that means we're very different. I'm not some emotionless lump or implying I am a master of self control. I'm trying to point out though that implying the rules are at fault for someone doing what they're trying to prevent is kinda a backwards way to look at it. The rules assume people have basic self control and can operate in a "family" environment. This is literally what is agreed to by hitting the "play" button.

maybe not you, but there were multiple posts whose intent was clear as the day earlier in the thread, unless they got deleted with the 2 pages of discussion

are you talking actual "frick" or the ..actual word we all think when we say frick?
I'm not poking fun at anyone. I'm hoping they can look at what's going on and go "oh.. the problem isn't I'm getting CAUGHT swearing, maybe I could.. not swear where they don't want me to.".

I meant the actual word, yeah lol, and while you didn't intend to poke fun at anyone, it read to me like that, I apologize if I misunderstood your intentions

OK so you personally likely have a handle on your own frustration and control yourself based on situation, surroundings and appropriateness. Again you, like I , understand that frustration is not an excuse correct? So suggestion that maybe not swearing where you're not supposed to be swearing isn't some jab and might be a reminder that whether or not you want to or are used to swearing all the time, you have to consider where you're are at the time.

it's not an excuse, but I do excuse people who swear depending on the situation and like theo said it earlier in the thread, some of the sweetest people I know swear like a sailor, hell, my former really awesome boss was one of those people, too, at work nonetheless
so yes, it 'doesn't have a place' in the game, but it's also a non-issue to me if people swear in the game unless they swear AT people with the intention to hurt
if it's someone saying, say, 'why is fricking X standing afk in the starting area?' in alliance raids or pvp, or a 'why the frick are you repeatedly standing in bad' after multiple wipes or big issues due to that person doing it, I understand it, even though know I know it's wrong and against the TOS, if that makes sense? I just accept that it's a momentary lapse of control and not an inherent lack of self control

[LaughingBanana]

FFXIV is played by millions of people.

To expect all of them to act uniformly, like all the players are robots manufactured by the same factory with the same programming, is idiotic. Of course you will meet arseholes and shitheads in the community.

Though by FAR this community is filled with more positive people, or at least people that do not directly act like arses whenever they're inconvenienced, in my personal experience.

Though it should be noted that I play in Japanese server, so maybe the culture is just different in NA or EU servers.

[Sotaris]

Though by FAR this community is filled with more positive people, or at least people that do not directly act like arses whenever they're inconvenienced, in my personal experience.

Cause TOS indirectly censor you from being to hostile. Wherever that's a good or bad thing is a different discussion for a different day.

[Adeacia]

All this talk about swearing and it's something I've never even done before in my life. I'm in my mid 30s. Only time I've said such words is when I'm reading dialog out loud for my YouTube lets play channel. Even then there are some words I refuse to say. Never found it hard.

Also, such words are very often used as insults, but if everyone uses them on everyone else, is it really an insult anymore?

[Misutoraru]

All this talk about swearing and it's something I've never even done before in my life. I'm in my mid 30s. Only time I've said such words is when I'm reading dialog out loud for my YouTube lets play channel. Even then there are some words I refuse to say. Never found it hard.

Also, such words are very often used as insults, but if everyone uses them on everyone else, is it really an insult anymore?

An insult will always been an insult. What words being use have little to do with it, one can insult someone without even swearing. It is the intention behind the words that matter

I curse when I done stupid thing, I get frustrated by my wrong doing, but I never got warning or get ban. I do not channel my frustration toward other players.

It is not the simply saying a curse word use swearing get anyone in trouble but finger pointing and name and shame. It is up to SE to review cases by cases if there is any offence. Like we could get arrested swearing in public but only in very extreme cases like obviously antisocial behaviour or threaten someone.

[KizuyaKatogami]

I will say one of the things i find kind of weird is the fact that a game that has a built in censor has a really weird stance when it comes to “profanity.” Like….you literally have a built in censor filter that people have to actively turn off. If they turn it off is it not their fault at that point? If there’s a censor filter with a toggled feature then i think at that point some profanity should be allowed lol.