Point allotment/General Mage Questions?

[Umo]

1. What should my points go into?

Mainly INT and MND in order to raise your magic damage output and your magic accuracy. You could allot some points on Piety and VIT in order to enhance survability, but for me is not worth it.

2. What would an end game BLM have their points in?

Same as above.

3. Will I be able to change points later if I mess up?

Yes, as soon as you unlock your first job and get an item called The Keeper's Hymn. IIRC, in order to unlock Black Mage job you have to raise Thaumaturge to 30 and Pugilist to 15.

4. At what level should I start trying to find parties?

It depends on your own server, I guess. I mean, it could be hard to find a low leveling party on servers with low population. Anyways, on Final Fantasy XIV you don't need to form a party in order to level up if you don't want to. It's up to you.

5. Could I solo all the way to max as a THM/BLM?

Absolutely.

6. I haven't been able to access an inn in Ul'dah (I'm guessing it's a moghouse?)

Moghouses are not implemented. We have "Inn rooms" located at each city-state (Ul'dah, Gridania and Limsa Lominsa). You must first complete "Court in the Sands" main quest in order to accept the inn quest "Ring of Deceit" (Ul'dah). On a side note, there are quests to unlock corresponding Inn rooms at Gridania and Limsa Lominsa.

7. I've noticed a lot of characters that have matching hair to their AF gear, is there a way you can change hairstyles after character creation or something?

I really don't know what you're talking about. It seems more a matter of coincidence. Currently there's no way to change hairstyles after character creation and AF gear cannot be dyed, so...

8. Should I be buying equipment from vendors or through the marketplace? (I'm not sure if vendor gear is really worth anything like in other MMOs)

Just for initial levels. I recommend you to buy a Conjurer's arm aswell in order to level it up to get Protect and Cure spells and then put them on your Thaumaturge. It will help you a lot. Moreover you'll eventually get gear as reward of some guildleves^^

I'm sorry for all the questions (I actually have a lot more), there is just a huge learning curve to the game as someone that has never read about it or kept up with it. When I Google something it only gives results from 2010 about things that are no longer relevant.

No worries at all. Anyways you should read "Play guide" section at The Lodestone.
Hope you have fun