Overcome some trauma

[Kolsykol]

A lot of FC's are run by irl friends and it can be hard to fit into that.
I always feel kinda left out in FC's and Guilds partly it's my own fault because I am very quiet and keep to myself but then sometimes when you try to chime in you can kinda get this feeling that everyone is all like '' wtf who is this and why are they injecting themselves? '' even if it's very casual.
Funnily enough I've actually adopted that to my character in FFXIV too which kinda makes sense with the whole '' nodders '' situation in the narrative.
But I treat my character almost as a mute and mostly communicate in groups with emotes unless more is necessary.
But I am also quick to help.

I remember in Guild Wars 2 for example I joined a Guild on day one and stuck with it for years, I have social anxiety so I rarely speak on voice chat especially with strangers.
I interacted with people in the Guild but the Guild was run mainly by a group of friends who kinda for the most part only interacted with each other unless they needed something and none of the others were online.
They basically acted like no one else in the Guild existed unless it benefited them.
One time they needed someone for PvP and I offered to join and one of them told me to join the voice chat for easy communication ( one of the nicer ones ).
The moment I said hello I could feel how the atmosphere did a complete 180, it was super friendly at first and they were joking around etc but the moment someone else joined and said hi things became extremely awkward and silent.
I just got this sense of '' who tf is this intruding on us? '' and this was on our official Guild Discord with the chat open for everyone so it wasn't like I just randomly joined their private chat.
But few times have I ever felt so unwelcome before and because of my anxiety it really messed with me.

I guess my point is that it might be a good idea to join a FC that isn't a bunch of friends who made their own FC.
It's not like it'll always be a problem but I think that cliques forming is natural regardless, but those cliques are probably going to be worse and more closed off if they're friends irl too.
Not saying it's always the case it might be the opposite and they're really open but just statistically speaking it's probably true.

And I also think that partly it's a problem with me and might be with you too if you have similar issues irl.
Keeping at arms length is something I kinda do just instinctually and I do want my personal space.
At the same time tho I also don't want to feel like a complete stranger when I interact with people or have people make snide remarks towards me basically being all like '' who tf is this ''.
Especially if I've been in a Guild or whatever for years.

Just try to be friendly and help if people ask for it, but if you start noticing passive aggressive behaviour and the like towards you it might be best to just leave and move on.
Or if you have the stomach for it actually voice your concerns because it might also be a misunderstanding they might not realize how you're taking it.