"Swift completion" is relative to the game, not the community

[Xirean]

I think for me it simply boils down to acceptance Rinhi. I understand if you’d see it as toxic positivity, but to me that implies there’s a meaningful choice I can make that will somehow improve a situation and I’m blissfully ignoring it.

But is there a solution? Will it help to tell people to git gud, to tell them they suck, that they should just stick with Trusts and stay the hell away from DF? That you hate to carry their sorry lazy arses and will kick them from the group at every turn? Will that improve their performance? I can tell you now it won’t. I’ve not seen that make any meaningful impact in WoW, and people get away with it there so it’s been tried.

People’s performance will vary. I simply accept that.

This right here is honestly a bit insulting. Trying to help someone improve or even solve an issue they are having is not the same as flaming them. I report people who do what you described. However I enjoy joining in when people are offering advice on ability use.

[Nishira]

This right here is honestly a bit insulting. Trying to help someone improve or even solve an issue they are having is not the same as flaming them. I report people who do what you described. However I enjoy joining in when people are offering advice on ability use.

I don’t mean to target anyone specifically with that. But some of this has been said on this forum. Some of it has been said regularly in WoW, which I found quite horrid. Friendly advice is obviously a different matter, but someone may refuse to take it on. Or someone feels criticised and doesn’t handle that well, which is quite common. What I mean by this is, you can try the nice way and it may well yield little to no results. You can try the hard way and it may well yield little to no results. In the end you have very little say in how someone else decides to play.

[MiaShino]

Friendly advice is obviously a different matter, but someone may refuse to take it on. Or someone feels criticised and doesn’t handle that well, which is quite common.

I am not licensed therapist buuuuuut if being informed to use doomspike and dragonfire drive after the tank pulls twenty mobs hurts on the emotional level, there are bigger issues at play then this Lala can solve.

In the end you have very little say in how someone else decides to play.

*A party member was dismissed from the duty.*

[Nishira]

I am not licensed therapist buuuuuut if being informed to use doomspike and dragonfire drive after the tank pulls twenty mobs hurts on the emotional level, there are bigger issues at play then this Lala can solve.

Thank you for the laugh. But you know, if telling people how they should play is working for you, great! From what I gather of these discussions it’s not tho. And personally I think trying to understand why something does not work is more useful because there may be potential solutions there instead of having to settle for frustration.

I think at its heart the main issue might just be phrasing. I’ll try to explain what I mean.

‘You should just pull wall to wall.’
‘You should know how to play by level 50/60/70/80.’
‘You shouldn’t slow down others and be a burden to them.’

Vs

‘You should respect other people’s right to play as they wish.’
‘You should be considerate.’
‘You should not rescue pull a tank around.’

I’m just giving a few examples that pop up a lot so no personal attacks But what they demonstrate is the inability of ‘should’ messages to encourage and foster different behaviour usually. I think it’s safe to say it annoys people on both sides of an argument. ‘You don’t pay my sub’ is the in game equivalent of ‘You’re not my mom!’

In essence one could argue, if anything, it shows a lot of people behave very similarly! They may just be on different sides of a discussion. Most of the time the answer will be somewhere in the middle. From personal experience I’d say accepting people may make different choices and/or may be different from you, trying to understand their reasoning and keeping it in mind with how you approach stuff, and trying to figure out ways to encourage people in positive ways to experiment and learn might make these discussions less polarised and who knows, maybe result in something that has a positive impact for each side.