Yeah there are going to be jerks in DF. Just ignore them. If they want to bail, let them bail. I'm fine if tanks pull to their comfort level. If we're good at small pulls, I'll let them know I have their back if they want to try more but I'm also good where we are. I've gotten Mt Gulg a LOT lately and there are tanks who really need to dial it back. But because of the extreme "You must always do X" mantra, they push it too far over and over. I think any "must do this" idea is bad. You're cutting yourself off from being flexible and able to adjust when different situations arise. It's not just the tank, or the healer, or the dps who decide to success of a big pull. It's everyone. The tank needs to be able to mitigate, the healer needs to be able to keep up with heals, and (often something people disregard) the dps has to be high enough to burn things down quickly while the tank and healer still have abilities available. Anyone that PUGs a lot should be able to quickly assess the situation and adjust as needed.