help dealing with harassment

[Mindiori]

Not everyone is avoided, usually because they have a persona that isn't like some sort of tedious old man. Desire is equivalent to occurrence percentage. If people don't bother you its because they'd rather avoid you like the plague. A simple enough concept; one that aligns with the same issues real world celebrities 'enjoy' these days.

Only thing that will save you is developing a thick skin and refusing to play their game. Troll them until they stop, the fire with fire strategy. If that's too tedious, surround yourself with those who have a forceful persona and develop a bubble. Safety lies in co-operative numbers. You won't find that in the complacent incompetence of SE.

[Breakbeat]

Only thing that will save you is developing a thick skin and refusing to play their game.

IMO this is really bad advice. "Thick skin" is a ridiculous concept. Some people are sensitive to things, and some people are not. Telling sensitive people to become less sensitive is nonsense. We are what we are; being less sensitive or having "thick skin" isn't in any way better than being sensitive or, for a lack of a better term, having "thin skin." Sensitive and unsensitive people are equals. One doesn't need to change into the other at all, and as humans we should already grasp the concept that people are drastically different from person to person.

All of the skin thicknesses are equally valuable human traits. Sensitive "thin-skinned" folks shouldn't be made to feel that they're defective.

Troll them until they stop, the fire with fire strategy.

Absolutely not. Two wrongs don't make a right. You don't fight hate and anger by perpetuating hate and anger. You fight it by dealing with it head-on, maturely, with a level head. If the other person doesn't get it in the end, you move on.

Do unto others as you'd have done unto yourself.

If that's too tedious, surround yourself with those who have a forceful persona and develop a bubble. Safety lies in co-operative numbers. You won't find that in the complacent incompetence of SE.

Developing a bubble or living in an echo-chamber isn't healthy at all. No one is correct 100% of the time. You need to expose yourself to other opinions and behaviors in order to develop a normal persona yourself. Any authority on mental health or therapist or psychiatrist or even just a regular doctor will tell you this.

"Safety in cooperative numbers," sounds like some military stuff to me. This ain't a battlefield. This is playing a game with random humans, and no one should need a "gang" to protect them from experiences here. If you feel you need a "gang", you're straight up doing it wrong.

...

The behaviors I'm arguing against are ones that actually perpetuate this nonsensical hate that leads to a 200-person block list:

- Gangs to protect you.
- If they hit you, hit 'em back.
- People that cannot handle vitriol are "lesser people" and should change.

Nah, drop kick all that nonsense off the nearest pier. None of it is conducive to having a positive experience. None of it is conducive to being a better human IRL.

[PredatoryCatgirl]

Absolutely not. Two wrongs don't make a right. You don't fight hate and anger by perpetuating hate and anger. You fight it by dealing with it head-on, maturely, with a level head. If the other person doesn't get it in the end, you move on.

Do unto others as you'd have done unto yourself.

This is great advice if you live in a fairy tale where right always wins. In the real world, power is what wins, and some people don't care if they hurt you. Some people enjoy hurting you. The only way to make them stop is to make them scared of you.

[Breakbeat]

This is great advice if you live in a fairy tale where right always wins. In the real world, power is what wins, and some people don't care if they hurt you. Some people enjoy hurting you. The only way to make them stop is to make them scared of you.

I don't know what this magic shield is that I have, but I've been able to put about 25,000 hours into MMOs over the past twenty years, without having a single person on any kind of ignore or block list. I've gotten into random arguments with folks perhaps ten times over all those years, and out of those ten arguments, two have probably involved words that would cause most people to ignore or block someone.

It is what it is. I follow the advice I gave, and it works.

I can prove it, as I offered.

Anyway, for a block-list-free and socially uplifting experience, HMU in-game. For whatever strange reason I can guarantee this will cause all the vitriol being thrown at you to disappear. I'm confident in that guarantee, because I do not believe random hate and anger will simply appear because I have another person next to me.

I dunno what else to say. I'd very much like to play with someone who needs a 200-person block list. I'm very curious about the behavior needed to attract such negativity.

The only way to make them stop is to make them scared of you.

Nonsense. Never done this, never had anyone on a block list. Had arguments, solved them like an adult. If I couldn't, I moved on.

You don't need to make other humans scared. That comes from your own internal fear.

[PredatoryCatgirl]

It is what it is. I follow the advice I gave, and it works.

I can prove it, as I offered.

I dunno what else to say.

I don't know what you're doing, but if it works, keep it up. It didn't work for me, but if it had, I would prefer it over making the bullies scared of me.

[Breakbeat]

I don't know what you're doing, but if it works, keep it up. It didn't work for me, but if it had, I would prefer it over making the bullies scared of me.

I only do what I described above.

If you did the same, it would work for you. You don't need to be a bully to not be bullied yourself. Again, if you really, truly want this, perhaps we can play together and find out what's going wrong for you.

I've offered dozens of times over the years for people to show me this hate and negativity first hand. Shoot, in WoW I used to constantly post an offer on the forums whereby if someone would group up with me, and I could witness the vitriol first-hand, and the vitriol was uninvited, I'd give that person one- or two-months of game time. You could google 'Breakbeat' and 'WoW Forums' and probably 'game time' to find my offers. I ain't making this stuff up.

Here's an early one from 2014:

https://us.forums.blizzard.com/en/wo...nity/904332/17

And another from 2019:

https://us.forums.blizzard.com/en/wo...base/137686/27

Never had a taker. I wonder why that is. No one wants free game time? Yeah, right.

My guess is that a lot of the negativity is perpetuated by the person seeking to avoid the negativity. Your example of "making others scared of you before you are bullied," is solid proof of this.

Kinda sad, but it is what it is, I guess. Sorry for your experience. I hope you realize that for the person on the other end of your preemptive bullying, you are the one that would need to go on a block list, thereby starting this whole ridiculous circle again.

Be good to other people. Every time. Every single time. If someone is bad to you, be good anyway.

/sigh

[Ronduwil]

This is great advice if you live in a fairy tale where right always wins. In the real world, power is what wins, and some people don't care if they hurt you. Some people enjoy hurting you. The only way to make them stop is to make them scared of you.

You're the one who seems to be living in a fairy tale here. There's power in dealing with things maturely. You don't need fear to make the system work for you. In fact, fear only gets in the way because karma is real. My biggest successes in life came through kindness, not fear. If you help people out, you'll always have someone willing to help you out. If you attempt to make everyone fear you, at best, no one will be around for you when you find yourself in a bind. At worst, you'll fail miserably and end up in a worse situation than before. I don't know who taught you to think like this, but I suggest you rethink how you're living your life.