This is unspoken truth about this game - tanking and healing is directly connected to each other. a lot defensive cool-down help the healer - heal you better healer uses there kit and cool-downs keep you alive. however communication is key to build a healthy tank and healer combo. however way combat is set up. unless your both on discord channel on fc. have perfect communication with each other. there is no way to determine how much ammunition both the tank and healer has.
this creates what I like to call paradox of idioticy. mostly you see in most mmorpgs if the healer dies its the tanks fault. if tanks dies it healers fault. if dps dies.... well you raise them hope they don't die again. moral of the story is that seems like always someone elses fault for messing up. be honest there no "I in team" so unless your tanking so awesome that you can clear dungeons in 3:12- 5 mins with constant wall to wall pulling with no stopping even if your whole team is dead. you manage to single handing kill a boss by yourself. without any help 100-1% any tanks then have no place to judge someone whos made a mistake. or you pulled big with no cool-downs popping already burnt them all end up pulling to much and get mad at healer did everything keep you alive have no try right trying there best
then get into pissing contest this happens quite often. solution is simple adding opinions to the game. and make update macro's to point they can queue are just as fast as they weren't macro'd at all
and be able to leave messages for tanks to read. wait this creates new problems like all the annoying load text blowing up on the screen. that no one pays attention to when there fighting. instead having it in chat bar. maybe add new ways to communicate in game prevents paradox of idiotcy
note there no way you can stop paradox of idiotcy just something that you have deal with in mmorpg and random people team up with duty finder naturally salty if there is a way to break this loop of hatred make this mmorpg better then rest. as community stand point i like take that path then follow same path as other games use same paradox like wow. guildwars other mmorpgs that yet break this chain
sometimes two people have to work together. to get jobs done. tanking and healing relationship works just like that. so remeber by telling healer to adjust you also need to make some sacrifices work with them too. besides everyone plays this game to have fun.