New white mage - but I may give it up after being verbally attacked by toxic players

[JupiterJaxon]

You know when you spend the entire raid keeping your Tank alive - barely - and spamming medica 2 for dps and at the end the DPS says - nice raid when you have to heal yourself. Or the Tank says they always pull that big - what's wrong with you healer?
And yet most players are great and most runs are great but every so often you get these really toxic characters. Do we live with it?
Any other healers feeling this pain?

[ty_taurus]

You know when you spend the entire raid keeping your Tank alive - barely - and spamming medica 2 for dps and at the end the DPS says - nice raid when you have to heal yourself. Or the Tank says they always pull that big - what's wrong with you healer?
And yet most players are great and most runs are great but every so often you get these really toxic characters. Do we live with it?
Any other healers feeling this pain?

You can't avoid toxicity in online communities. FFXIV's a really good example of a community where toxicity is low (in-game at least), but you'll never escape it 100%, whether you're a healer, DPS, or tank. If you feel you're being attacked, the best thing you can do is report the person being toxic and ignore them. Giving up WHM won't stop the behavior, and it won't help you avoid it in the future.

[Laphicet]

Sounds like you're just a bad healer to me... Either undergeared or don't understand how healing works.

Let me summarize it briefly. A healer's duty is not to solely heal and to mend up every minor nick, cut, and bruise. Rather, your duty is to put out as much dps as possible while keeping people alive. So of course you're going to get ragged on for Medica II spam, because most of that was unnecessary and you also kept overwriting your own regens.

A good benchmark for a new player is 50%, as this is where certain abilities start becoming more valuable due to scaling or avoiding overheal... When the main tank drops below half HP, heal them up to about 80% and go back to DPSing. When more than half of the DPS+cotank drop below 40% hp, cast AOE heals. if a DPS is in critical health (25% or less) consider healing them before next raidwide as natural HP regen might not be enough. Also let regens do their work. In WHM's case: medica II gives a regen effect, and regen has more than the potency of cure II for the cost of cure I... if I recall right.

Also, OGCDs and/or cooldowns are not made to be saved for emergencies, use them or lose them is a better philosophy to have (with the exception of swiftcast, as some people save that for emergency raises).

Healing is incredibly easy in this game if you realize this and know how to utilize the stronger parts of your kit and rely on OGCDs. However, if you're curespamming or just constantly trying to get people to full and in a constant panic state over every little bit of HP lost, you make things a ton harder on yourself when you don't need to. And spamming your basic heals is just asking for a terrible time, as you'll eventually reach a point where that's not enough to even keep a tank from dying to autoattacks. Work smarter, not harder. And remember that the faster you kill the enemies, the less damage you have to heal.

If you're still struggling to heal while following this advice, you may be undergeared. in such case I recommend you seek out gear with better stats / iLVL. Or just higher level gear if you can get that.

You may find that you end up spamming a single button endlessly at this point due to how little healing is actually needed most times. Well, that's by design and you can blame sqeenix incompetence for that. They think that taking away DPS buttons magically makes healers focus more on healing, when that is something you do through fight design, not gutting kits.

[DBriggs304]

You know when you spend the entire raid keeping your Tank alive - barely - and spamming medica 2 for dps and at the end the DPS says - nice raid when you have to heal yourself. Or the Tank says they always pull that big - what's wrong with you healer?
And yet most players are great and most runs are great but every so often you get these really toxic characters. Do we live with it?
Any other healers feeling this pain?

Yup. Nothing else to do but live with it. There will always be jerks no matter what but they are a small part of the community.

[Roeshel]

You know when you spend the entire raid keeping your Tank alive - barely - and spamming medica 2 for dps and at the end the DPS says - nice raid when you have to heal yourself. Or the Tank says they always pull that big - what's wrong with you healer?
And yet most players are great and most runs are great but every so often you get these really toxic characters. Do we live with it?
Any other healers feeling this pain?

What pain? Pain from what? It is easy to let everyone in your party die or let your co-healer heal instead of you in raids. DPS can't survive any raid on their own, nor a tank that is actually tanking.

Maybe stop spam healing and start DPSing.

Tanks pulling big and not using CDs have inflated ego-s, you are better of kicking them from the party, saying something that will make them quit on their own or just not bothering with anything and leave the dungeon yourself. Unless you are spamming Cure, the fault is in the tank and/or DPS if they can't survive the pull.

[Brandedblade]

You know when you spend the entire raid keeping your Tank alive - barely - and spamming medica 2 for dps and at the end the DPS says - nice raid when you have to heal yourself. Or the Tank says they always pull that big - what's wrong with you healer?
And yet most players are great and most runs are great but every so often you get these really toxic characters. Do we live with it?
Any other healers feeling this pain?

You are asking the wrong forum section for the question. "Should I give up on healing?"

But to be honest, at this point in the game a healer will unfortunately be expected to keep up with large tank pulls. As a WHM you have one of the best tools to counter that, at least at the start of the pull, in Holy. Depending on what level the content is you'll have all of your other cooldowns and abilities that you can utilize as well. stacking regens to stabilize the tank, utilizing your lilies for free instant cures that you can weave your other skills.

I would highly recommend looking for a guide or 3 on whm and analyze what may be the issue on your end. However know this. Being the best healer in the world can only go so far before a bad tank will force you to compensate or drain yourself dry.

[Sebazy]

Being the best healer in the world can only go so far before a bad tank will force you to compensate or drain yourself dry.

Honestly, a bad tank changes little to nothing in this game, at least not that you can do anything about at least. I've done dungeons with tanks that had less HP than me, it was still absolutely fine with the caveat being that I did my best to ensure stuff died in a timely manner. In harder content? If the tank isn't doing their job it's probably just going to cause them to die or force a raid wipe depending on the content. Meh.

You know when you spend the entire raid keeping your Tank alive - barely - and spamming medica 2 for dps and at the end the DPS says - nice raid when you have to heal yourself. Or the Tank says they always pull that big - what's wrong with you healer?

If you're spamming Medica II at level 65, you are without a doubt absolutely doing it wrong. You might not be entirely at fault, but chances are you are not helping things. Consider recording yourself and watch your replays back for a couple of dungeons. It's surprising how different things can feel when viewed back without the pressure of the moment upon you. It'll make it much easier to figure out where you're going wrong without the 'toxic' opinions of those who may or may not actually be correct weighing on you.

[Brandedblade]

Honestly, a bad tank changes little to nothing in this game, at least not that you can do anything about at least. I've done dungeons with tanks that had less HP than me, it was still absolutely fine with the caveat being that I did my best to ensure stuff died in a timely manner. In harder content? If the tank isn't doing their job it's probably just going to cause them to die or force a raid wipe depending on the content. Meh.

I'm so glad you're so amazing at this game. But I was trying be nice to the newer player and let him know that yes, things happen that aren't always his fault. If the other players aren't doing their best then that puts more strain on others to compensate, at some point the straw will break the camels back. Is he playing perfectly? No, ofc he isn't, I even advised him to look up some healing guides to see what he's doing wrong.

[Sebazy]

I'm so glad you're so amazing at this game. But I was trying be nice to the newer player and let him know that yes, things happen that aren't always his fault. If the other players aren't doing their best then that puts more strain on others to compensate, at some point the straw will break the camels back. Is he playing perfectly? No, ofc he isn't, I even advised him to look up some healing guides to see what he's doing wrong.

If you think you need to be amazing at any point in dungeons then well, that just reflects on you TBH.

There's three main differences here:

I've analysed my own runs enough to understand that most dungeons simply aren't threatening to the tank. Right now, there are only two pulls I will be apprehensive on. The first pulls in Bardams and Akadaemia Anyder. Outside of that, there just isn't any need to care. Regen > Asylum > Benison and start holying away, maybe burn a lily if it'll get me a Misery whilst the pack is still up. With Regen up a tank pretty much needs to AFK in a pack of ground markers to have any risk of dieing. Why panic when there's just no need to? That's your cue to congratulate my amazing play of the game btw.

Secondly, peoples mistakes are on them. Don't get me wrong, if I can save someone from the bad I absolutely will. I don't play this game to watch people die and step over their corpses. But if they are eating the bad repeatedly to the extent where I have to chose between letting them or the tank die. They will die and I will shed precisely 0 tears over it. They made the mistakes, not me. I will do what I can. If that's not enough, so be it. In all the years I've played this game, I've had exactly one DPS go off on me. And ironically it was because I was getting killed by the collar on Baelsar's wall. Again, there was nothing more I could do in that situation. No sleep was lost that day.

Thirdly, players in this game have an almost comical aversion to death. It's genuinely both intriguing and borderline comical. I've seen people handle their deaths better in full Everquest 1 Plane of Hate/Fear raid wipes that ended up needing a second raid to recover the bodies. Meanwhile in FFXIV, there is basically no meaningful death penalty for a wipe in a dungeon. Stuff doesn't respawn. Items don't get lost. Corpses don't need to be recovered. Yet some people absolutely flip off the rails over it. I remember at the launch of SB, I got caught napping when I started spamming Bardam's on SCH. I was busy slurping my coffee and didn't realise I didn't have aetherflow or a pet until the barrier dropped and the tank sprinted off. I didn't quite have enough in my pocket to keep the tank up and wound up with a stray add on my back as well. It was a dumb wipe and I'll happily take the blame for it as I should have had an extra 3 aetherflow charges and been closer to the tank if I wasn't dozing at the start. Lesson learned on my part but amusingly the tank flipped their wig over it and refused to budge from the start. So myself and the DPS just carried on clearing without them.

Making mistakes and dieing is only a bad thing if you are too pigheaded to learn from it. I've died plenty in this game (Sorry to disappoint on the amazing front sir).

Rather than whine or blame game, I look back at the shadowplay and even if it wasn't my fault, I'll see if I can adapt and improve to prevent it happening again. Can't run shadowplay? Run a private passworded stream to somewhere like twitch or YouTubetv. I used to use a private hitbox.tv account when I was doing progression raid so the other FC healers would also watch and help analyse or suggest things. There's a multitude of easy ways to really improve ones play if one is willing to actually make the effort to do so. Unfortunately many simply aren't.

[Averax]

If your idea of good healing is spamming medica 2, i suggest you direct yourself to a healing guide.