Situations where you're left with no good option

[TeraRamis]

I was just in an Orbonne Monastery. I joined at the midway point - right at T.G. Cid - and it was pretty apparent that the alliance had had a significant amount of trouble already (40 minutes had elapsed). Before even pulling - yet despite being aware that they'd already wiped a few times on Cid - I asked "does anyone have any questions about mechanics?" Oh, no no, I was told - they had only wiped because their previous tank had AFKed. Everyone knew what they were doing.

No. They didn't.

We wiped consecutively because people wouldn't stand in the 3-per zones. People were literally standing right next to the circles on both occasions and not entering them. After explaining the mechanic prior to the second pull, and still seeing people in the two groups I had eyes on refusing to step into the circles, I queued a vote abandon. It failed.

So here's wherein the problem lies. I feel like I should be able to leave that run at that point without incurring a penalty. It was very, very obvious to me that the people involved weren't getting it (and it wasn't just obvious to me - like 10 people dropped raid the moment the vote abandon failed). If people want to slam their heads against that wall, no judgment: it was just plain to me that another wipe was coming; the people who weren't doing mechanics were the same ones still there.

But I shouldn't have to choose between joining them in futility or wasting 30 minutes for walking away; the solo queue for Orbonne is long enough as it is, and, what's more, I didn't just join and quit - I put in two good faith efforts to kill Cid (I was, frankly, downright upbeat when I got in there - Cid is my favorite boss of the four), and when it didn't happen, I wanted to leave. I should be entitled to do that WITHOUT a penalty, and without a confrontation.

As things stood, I made them kick me (what were the alternatives? Get angry as we fail again and again? Drop group and sit there twiddling my thumbs for 30 minutes? Nuts to that). But I shouldn't be placed in that kind of position to require passive-aggressiveness to get out of there in the first place. There didn't need to be any confrontation or hostility on either side (as it was, I just said nothing and didn't move once they started screaming at me) - that hostility was a direct result of game restrictions saying to me "yeah, sorry, you're stuck here because MWAHAHAHAHA." I don't give a crap about the individual players involved; I am sure most of them will learn the content eventually. But FFXIV should not put me in a position of demanding that I punish myself in one way or another because of the actions of others.

*Edit* And just to be clear: I'm complaining about the fact that the game seeks to penalize players for making a judgment call about whether or not a group can complete content; that FFXIV tells you, directly, that all choices suck. I'm not complaining about the group: I'm just explaining the quandary by presenting an example.