Need help / advice for this tank roulette situation

[LittleArrow]

[EDIT] I do feel I have enough information to inform my gameplay going forward. I hope this thread can be helpful to others, but I feel I've gotten very good advice and will not respond any further as the thread has served it's purpose. I will adjust my gameplay and do all that is in my control to prevent accidental face pulls despite whatever mentality someone else finds appropriate (abusive or otherwise). I hope this also helps others. Thanks to all who responded, this has helped me immensely.


This probably isn't a situation for most, but it's been for me for about a month now.

I've been playing this game since 1.x beta. I'm not here pointing fingers at the influx of players being the sole reason, but I do think in general more people = more instances of this being the issue.

So the issue I'm running into is this, very strange tank/ego complex dictating the entire run of the dungeon - "you pull, you die," "you follow me," "I manage aggro no one else."

I used to play by those rules in other games, but I learned from FFXIV dungeon running is far more teamwork than it is the tank decides the entire fate of the run. It's humiliating, frustrating, and it honestly makes me never want to run roulettes.

Context: Tanks pulling single pull, then moving to the next group, stopping just before the next group. I'm getting confused if we're going to pull another and run with the tank, then face pull by accident. Every time I try to clarify with the tank what we're doing, I get scolded / called down for pulling even after I apologize.

I'm literally terrified of GMs in this game due to ToS. I never defend myself and just leave the group, and even then I'm scared somehow I'll get reported.

I'm so confused as to what is defensible and what isn't in this game anymore. I understand not wanting to compel the gameplay of the tank, but what about my gameplay getting compelled by someone trying to 'teach me a lesson,' an adult that's just trying to play a game and confused by the weird pulling methods of other people?

Can someone please offer me advice here? Do I just put on my adult undies, leave, and not worry about it? Am I being unreasonable in how often I see abusive treatment of tanks lately?

Thanks for reading, sorry for the scattered post.

[EDIT] This is just an aside, but I did not notice the "Biggest pet peeve..." thread. I just wanted to say, my post was not at all made in response to that thread. I'm honestly looking for advice, and going and seeing that thread is helpful to find a balance opinion. I also want to clarify, I DO NOT support pushing a tank out of their comfort zone or gameplay. The situation I'm encountering is very specific to me being confused, apologizing, and being punished. I disagree with anyone punishing someone else, and I will die on that hill of an opinion. I do not want to cause any sort of grief for the forum community, and I apologize for not paying more attention to current threads.

An additional thought to my circumstance that I did not take into consideration when looking back at these instances; there is a delay / lag with other people's screens. I am of the mind that my character must have been way further ahead of the tank on their screen and perhaps they felt their actions justified. I was constantly moving, and I have seen the drastic difference between moving characters vs the players screen. Looking back, I can understand that decision, even if I disagree with how I was handled. Going forward, I'm going to keep that in mind and give the tank a much wider breadth.

[BaconBits]

If you run into one of those "you pull it you tank it" kind of tanks and they're doing that thing where they look like they're gonna pull more but keep running back to the first group of enemies, either give them the swift boot or eat the 30 minute penalty. And if they decide to "punish" you by letting you die from accidentally pulling mobs or hurl insulting remarks at you, report them immediately.

The only way to deal with those kind of people is to fight fire with fire, because it's the only way to get through their skulls that their behavior is unwarranted and unwelcome.

[Deceptus]

If you run into one of those "you pull it you tank it" kind of tanks and they're doing that thing where they look like they're gonna pull more but keep running back to the first group of enemies, either give them the swift boot or eat the 30 minute penalty. And if they decide to "punish" you by letting you die from accidentally pulling mobs or hurl insulting remarks at you, report them immediately.

The only way to deal with those kind of people is to fight fire with fire, because it's the only way to get through their skulls that their behavior is unwarranted and unwelcome.

I had a lvl 80 BLM in Pagl'than yesterday. He was ilvl 535 to my 520 as a tank.

I'm used to pulling big but this guy wasn't giving me a single GCD to get aggro on packs. Wasn't using Manaward, or Aetherial Manipulation to get next to me with the mobs.

Not to mention healer kept using Regen while I was running to get packs. I'll remove it, instantly back on.

Long story short, other players in the group were making a hell of a lot harder to tank stuff than it needed to be.

I get that aggro is easy to keep but the start of pulls is literally the worst time for a tank. Give me at least a GCD or two to get aggro if you're going to blast stuff.

[Garten]

Guess you can kindly Ask what they are doing. In some (low lvls) dungs you have ranged Mobs that are difficult to pack together with melee ones so if i tank i quickly run behind a corner and then Come back when they are all nicely pack together. Never had iasue with that but i can understand that this maybe confuses inexperienced players

[Mikey_R]

Back when I first starting playing this game, I had this mentality, you pull it, you tank it. Then, I grew up. Realising, it is better to try and fix the mistakes rather than add to them, has made me more of a team player and I am more observant on the overall fight so I can better adapt to different players.

I suspect this is the same case for many new tanks, they see themselves as the 'leader', they are 'the most important' and it is that mentality that causes the whole 'you pull it, you tank it'. They just need to realise they are actively hindering more than helping.

As for the tank slowly moving between pulls, that would irk me as well. Either keep the pack where it is, or pull to the next. I don't care whoch, just pick one. By stuttering between pulls, you help noone and again, you do hinder damage potential.

I should also say, you should not fear the ToS. I have never had issues and I do not know anyone who has. The odd story here and there should not be a deterrent to stop you saying what you want, just make sure you word it properly. In your case, if they did report, the GMs will see the chat log, see you have been appologetic and that the tank had been aggressive, and probably take action against the tank (I am assuming the would anyway).

It is also worth noting that this sort of behaviour does tend to drop off at higher levels. I never have problems in higher duties when mistakes happen, people just adapt and if someone is constantly being a hinderance by not following advice, that is when people get more frustrated.

[Rinhi]

I suspect this is the same case for many new tanks, they see themselves as the 'leader', they are 'the most important' and it is that mentality that causes the whole 'you pull it, you tank it'. They just need to realise they are actively hindering more than helping.

It is also worth noting that this sort of behaviour does tend to drop off at higher levels. I never have problems in higher duties when mistakes happen, people just adapt and if someone is constantly being a hinderance by not following advice, that is when people get more frustrated.

you'd be surprised at how many high level players think like that, just look at the (I think?) dungeon pet peeve thread where you'll see people defend their "you pull you tank it" griefing :P
I don't think it's a level thing, but rather a childish ego thing

[LianaThorne]

you'd be surprised at how many high level players think like that, just look at the (I think?) dungeon pet peeve thread where you'll see people defend their "you pull you tank it" griefing :P
I don't think it's a level thing, but rather a childish ego thing

As I said above, pretty sure that's ultimately reportable in the same way people are able to report for being told someone doesn't like the color of shirt they're wearing today and it hurt their feelings and disturbed their gameplay.

[Rinhi]

As I said above, pretty sure that's ultimately reportable in the same way people are able to report for being told someone doesn't like the color of shirt they're wearing today cause it hurt their feelings and disturbed their gameplay.

only if the tank would actually type it out, no? if they don't say a word but turn their stance off and shirk the person they want to punish I doubt a GM could do anything

[LianaThorne]

There are plenty of reasons why tanks could only be single pulling.

For example, I did that a lot when I was first starting out because I was still trying to get comfy with holding aggro and learning the ropes. Some people do take longer than others to shake off the tank-xiety (even though SOME on this forum think it should be an instant process).

I also base my pulls heavily around the healer and what they're able to handle. If I already know before we start that they're undergeared (for example), I'm definitely not pulling big and it irritates me a lot when DPS pull more and then proceed to wipe us. It's like: I'm very capable of pulling more if I want to, I'm just not because we can't handle it.

Last thing to keep in mind is there are THOUSANDS of new players coming in from all different MMOs (WoW, PSO2, LOTRO, SWTOR, etc.) and they might just not know how tanking works here yet. Yeah, you're gonna run into jerks....this is the internet and they feel entitled to treat people how they want because they pay a monthly fee. Gotta kind of make the best of it or take friends with you to do your roulettes until things settle a bit more in terms of that.

Obviously, if this is a level 80 dungeon that all this is happening in then that's a totally different story. But if we're low-leveling things then there can be a lot of reasons.

Oh, also, if someone is griefing you intentionally and gets pissy at you about a mistake...you can totally report that lol. Like, don't be afraid to just hit that button and be about your day.

[LittleArrow]

Thank you for the responses. I was honestly scared to post this due to being flamed, but honestly, I'm so sick of playing this game in fear. I always try to be concise and efficient in my text, but I'm always hoping to be polite and understanding to all my fellow players, even those that are abusive imo.

I really want to underline, I absolutely do not have an issue going along with single pulls. It does irk me in that it takes longer, but the comfort of the tank is far more important than the extra few mins it would save me to make them uncomfortable. I just don't understand getting punished by being let die after I apologize and obviously move my character back behind the tank.

This keeps happening to me and I literally am getting a weird complex with being scared to do roulettes because of it. I know that's stupid. I know this is just a game, but with how much I want to try to accomodate people, it literally upsets me irl to be treated like that.

Thank you for the support. I'm glad I'm not the only one that sees this abusive behavior as unacceptable. I'm also sorry for keeping the situation vague, I don't want to nameshame, and I admit I shouldn't have ran with the tank. From now on, I'm just going to always stay behind, not with. I'm sorry if I left anything out that would skew to my side. I really want the most balanced advice possible.