I'm still thinking at this point that if we remove the job restrictions on glam then the majority will be satisfied. Men who want something more feminine won't need to be a healer to get the dress, and ladies can wear those sweet tank coats on any job they want. Thinking on it, those two roles in particular are very uniformly masculine and feminine in their armor appearances regardless of your characters gender.

This would also satisfy the parties who don't want to overload developers.