Pretty much defeats having a Duty Finder if it's going to be cut up into different queues. Party Finder exists if someone wants to set the parameters of their run.

As to the helping people conversation, I've helped people now for 7 years in the game and haven't spent a second in jail and rarely get flack back. Presentation IS important. In text, tone is conveyed through word and punctuation choice. And people don't respond well to just being told what to do. It only takes a moment to ask someone if they want assistance. And it takes nothing to remain positive and encouraging even if people are messing up.