I feel guilty and must confess.

[Zachia]

So I was playing the story line quests and i meet someone who is on the same quest as me now. He's very friendly and wants to help and i stay in a party with him. But i'm a lonewolf. I don't like being friends with people because i dont want to disappoint people, and with having friends there are some expectations and i dont want those expectations because i dont want to fail them and disappoint people. So I always keep to myself. Well ten minutes in the group my laptop crashed as its prone to crashing and happens quite a lot when i play this game.

So I thought to myself well this is an excuse not to log on and he'll lose interest in me and i get to keep to myself when i log in later. But I feel guilty because I do this with everyone. I would like friends and be like a normal person but it just seems like i'm not. Family blames my aspergers but i dont like that defining me or used as a clutch to give anything an excuse in what i do. Has anyone gone through this in life and have any solutions as of right now all i feel like i should do is be alone as that would be the best for everyone.

[van_arn]

Welcome to FFXIV

[Delis]

I would suggest seeing a therapist. They will most likely be able to help you find ways to address this and find solutions for you.

[Senn]

Sounds like social anxiety. You could just tell them you're going to go solo for a while since you'll disconnect on and off and you don't want to slow them down. Why not add them and do some small talk occasionally? Maybe you'll warm up to the idea of chatting a little.

[Zachia]

its not that chatting is an issue. I've been known to be quite the chatter box and talk peoples ears off when i get to know someone. But its that step in getting to know someone. I wasn't always like this though. I don't know if i need therapy like someone suggested or a poor history when it comes with having friends or people i knew but I don't like it :/.

[SturmChurro]

I can be very flaky individual, so I generally play alone nowadays, or every now and again play something with someone I know. Not really out of social anxiety though. Part of the problem is I like playing things my way specifically, and I don't want to be a burden on them, nor them be a burden on me. Actually, probably in the last year I don't really talk to or do anything with a friend of mine much anymore because of this.. It's also probably the cause of many of the disagreements I've had with the majority of guilds/clans I've played in.

In FFXIV I haven't bothered looking for an FC, nor do I actively play it with anyone. I play this game entirely solo as well, and only group with people when it's more efficient to, or I have to (DF). "PUGS" really. I don't like the commitment of a static, so I haven't bothered with that either, even though I think I am probably capable enough to do high tier PvE, if I really wanted to.

[Sotaris]

Here, sit down on the couch while I grab my pen and pad.

[Jojoya]

I wasn't always like this though.

A good reason to talk to a therapist. They can help you figure out what might have caused the change and get you back on track.

[ReynTime]

I wish I had been that lucky. If I make an alt and open a party while doing things with it absolutely no one joins.
MSQ and Quest sharing would be a dream come true to me. I hate how anti-party that content is.

[artlessknave]

nearly anyone with aspergers (technically ASD now) has probably had a very similar experience. I have ASD. occasionally people add me as a friend. usually they go offline after a few years and I never see them online.


I'm in an FC I was invited to long ago. i almost never do anything with them. sometimes I comment in FC chat, most of the time I ignore it.


knowing that you have ASD isn't a crutch, it's the first step to finding out how to get OFF the crutches. most of us don't know what a crutch looks like to be able to know we are using one.