Help please. My character cannot consume onions.

[Merhouse]

There are many types of onions in the game, however, none of them are consumable. I find this unacceptable.

As you know or may well have heard, consuming raw onions daily is an unparalleled source of vitality and strength. In fact, your capacity to do things such as lift weights, lose weight, attract a partner and/or reproduce corresponds directly with how many raw onions you can consume.

I consume over 50 onions daily, and I am all powerful. I graduated top of my class in the navy seals. My IQ is 230- 90 more points than Steven Hawking (who did not consume onions.) Doctors say I have the virility of 100 men. I even once fist fought a yeti; the yeti lost.

As such, I really wish I could also have my Final Fantasy XIV character consume onions. I demand a way to consume onions and receive benefits be implemented into the game.

Here are my suggested stats for all onion related items:
+999 strength
+999 dexterity
+999 vitality
+999 intelligence
+999 mind

Additional affect:
Gain the Paladin invulnerability buff 'invincible' for 30 minutes.

[Avatre]

Okay, but you have a 0.00000000000001% chance of getting the buffs. The rest of the time it's an instant KO and can't use an onion for three weeks. Additionally, you get 0.0000001% the EXP you would normally gain from ALL sources.

[BunniEclair]

people really will post anything huh

[Merhouse]

people really will post anything huh

Oh look another skeptic. I find it ridiculous that you would even suggest the healing power of raw onions is some sort of joke. Is it coincidence that you would say something so foolish because you do not consume onions daily?

I think not.

[Enla]

But what if I have an onion allergy? D:

[Penthea]

...is OP a chocobo irl?

[Merhouse]

...is OP a chocobo irl?

no, just a man on a mission to spread the word of onion

kweh

[Shibi]

Gain the Paladin invulnerability buff 'invincible' for 30 minutes.

"Hallowed Ground" maybe, I guess.

[Merhouse]

"Hallowed Ground" maybe, I guess.

I was referring to FFXI's Paladin pleb

[TroySoFab]

Personally I like my onions broiled or grilled. They are so succulent and savory when grilled over an open fire. SE please add more onion based meals. Maybe an Onion mum?