Long time no see y'all. Been working a bit too hard.

Overheard this while I was at work while waiting in line to pick up something from the deli:

"Is that ham processed? If it's processed I don't want it."

"Ma'am, that is an eleven pound whole slab of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. It is an amalgamation of several pigs, emulsified, liquefied, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in an unholy meat obelisk. God had no hand in creation of this abhorrence. The fact that this ham monolith exists proves that God is either impotent to alter His universe or ignorant to the horrors taking place in His kingdom. This prism of pork is more than deli meat. It is a physical declaration of mankind's contempt to the natural order. It is hubris manifest. We also have a lower sodium variety if you would prefer that."

I left quickly after that.