Pretty much the reason why I don't go for big FCs unless I own them. xD

I prefer a community where everyone interacts with each other (where my current FC is at) rather than a big one with tons of cliques. The majority of big ones that I've been in usually go something like this:

Me: Good morning!
Everyone else: *continues on with their conversations like I didn't even say anything*

and I dip out not long after.

Sounds to me like you're better off making your own FC or going for a small one that's just being formed so you're there from the start. However, like some of the other people above said, might wanna drop the ear comments & being the one person that drops convos into a negative (i.e. that cake analogy you gave where everyone is happy with the cake and ur like...well, I think it would be better like this. Take it from the Queen of Negativity (not as bad as I used to be but meh) here, it doesn't get you anywhere good.