Disturbing FC Behavior

[Penthea]

Don't perpetuate the culture of fake positivity ff14 has become known for.

This is the first time I heard about this being a thing that FFXIV is known for, and I have been playing for several years.

Also all your fc related problems are things I encountered in every multiplayer game I have played. There are insular and meanspirited people everywhere. Those who find a good community right away are actually in the minority. Most people have to try a few times before they find a group that makes them feel accepted and happy. I actually ended up making my own fc because I couldn't find that group.

[BunniEclair]

It’d be kinda weird if FCs didn’t have smaller groups of friends within them, especially the larger ones. This happens in any social situation you shove a bunch of people into- they break off into smaller groups and get to know each other.

If it’s an FC where you think you could get along with the people, then just stick around. Join conversations that are already in progress and get to know them a little better before you start getting out your spicier takes. Join people when they ask for help, or ask to join people if you notice they’re doing something. Being around and being consistent is really all it takes to become established in an FC. This is pretty much socializing 101.

Also, I’m just gonna put it out there that asking a bunch of cat/bunny/lizard people “so why are there just a bunch of boring humans with animal ears in this game” isn’t quite the conversation starter you think it is, lol.

[Ralph2449]

I mean what you describe isnt really anything other than the usual guild/clan/FC clique who just invites people for more numbers/bodies for groups, it is definitely not a good idea to stay within these groups if you see they consistently ignore everyone else but their clique.

[LianaThorne]

Pretty much the reason why I don't go for big FCs unless I own them. xD

I prefer a community where everyone interacts with each other (where my current FC is at) rather than a big one with tons of cliques. The majority of big ones that I've been in usually go something like this:

Me: Good morning!
Everyone else: *continues on with their conversations like I didn't even say anything*

and I dip out not long after.

Sounds to me like you're better off making your own FC or going for a small one that's just being formed so you're there from the start. However, like some of the other people above said, might wanna drop the ear comments & being the one person that drops convos into a negative (i.e. that cake analogy you gave where everyone is happy with the cake and ur like...well, I think it would be better like this. Take it from the Queen of Negativity (not as bad as I used to be but meh) here, it doesn't get you anywhere good.

[Raikai]

It's the same widespread thing, not just in XIV but in about any game that promotes similar group associations.

If you're posting this because you're facing one or all of these issues at the present date, I'd suggest just to look for a different FC. It might need a few tries, but eventually you'll end up with one that you'll really enjoy and make great friends.

Usually the best tries are onto FCs that are smaller in numbers, but with active people.

[iVolke]

This is pretty socially unacceptable behaviour in any setting. Methinks the problem is you.

This kinda proves the "ffxiv players can't handle slight disagreements" point.

[ReynTime]

I did not and will not read anything beyond the main post here because as someone who suffers from occasionally severe social anxiety I see where they're coming from and my blood would boil if I saw any hostility or passive aggressive replies to them here.

To the topic creator, it took me 7 years to finally join a free company that does its best to push everyone to socialize and play together. The cliques are real, just like anywhere with more than like 10 people.

Everyone has their own tightly closed circles and at best someone who failed to form their own circle by the time they were done with college are basically stuck being the outsider no matter who they assume they became friends with. People who have their own love to talk as if they understand but they really don't. And their flowery speeches just add painful salt to the injury.
And with those circles comes mob mentality. Which is just plain scary and makes you hate yourself for not sharing the same opinions. And before long you stop believing anything you have to say holds any value and everything feels completely futile.
You then try again with a different group and the cycle repeats.

At least as far as FFXIV goes there are some free companies, very few of them, that encourage everyone to talk, play events together and help each other. The clique is still there of course, and just because the higher ranks are nice and helpful doesn't mean they want to be your friends. But hey they don't let toxicity or passive aggressiveness in the chat at least.
So keep looking.

[Chie_M]

This kinda proves the "ffxiv players can't handle slight disagreements" point.

Eh. It's up to you to interpret social conventions that way.

[Vyrerus]

Personally, I've found FCs in FFXIV across the NA data centers to either be large and noisome or small and silent. Quite often, I've started a new character, and along the levels 15-20 I get invited to an FC. I always play characters I start with regularity, and more often than not, unless it's one of the server spanning 500ish people FCs, then it's dead silent all of the time.

As for the FCs that I'm actually in now, they vary, but I would agree that they are all insular to some degree, including the one that I, "lead."

One is lead by a friend of mine from Sweden, and it includes people from FFXI and FFXIah who he thinks are kinda cool, who have known each other for years. Occasionally these people invite their spouses, lovers, or close friends in as well. Conversation is regular, but it's always the same people. We do a lot of conversing through a Linkshell instead, since not everyone wants to be in that FC.

Another is the one my Sargatanas character is in. I'm not on the character as much anymore, but I try to lend them a hand if they ever need me. They're mostly chill, but we've got different perspectives on social issues, acceptable joking criteria, and some other things. There's also a messy past issue with my ex, and her hostility towards them, that is partially transferred onto me. I'll never know how much that affects this FC's view of me, but I know that it does on some level. They associate me with her, in spite of her being the original reason I wasn't allowed in their FC. I know they run linkshells that they talk to one another in outside of FC chat, that I am not privy to, and I don't feel the need to be, but I do know that conversations happen that I am not present for, and obviously, they'd rather keep it that way. It kinda reminds me of, "Officer Pearls" from back in FFXI, heh, an entirely separate Linkpearl just for Officer discussions. Somehow, though, even with that in play sometimes it's hard for me to tell when they're bullshitting one another or seriously having issues with like event timings and things. So it doesn't really feel very cliquey.

Then there's my FC, which I'd love to get off the ground properly, get a ground doing things together, but it's an old FC and essentially it's a walking corpse. Recently we've recruited some people, but play times don't overlap very well, so more or less, it's just an association for FC buffs that I stuck to and inherited a house from. It's very loose, and I just promote anyone who's been on for at least 3 weeks consistently to a rank with almost full privs. It's quiet.


And I have been kicked out of one FC or maybe I left after getting kicked out of the raid group? It's been too long, but basically, I was going to Japan back in 2016 and had been sick the weeks before, and had missed raid like 3 or so times. I told them why, and the lead got the impression that I just didn't want to raid with them anymore, because they were silly and I was serious. But that was literally the most fun I've had raiding in this game, even if we never cleared 4th fight in Savages (I literally haven't laughed as hard raiding since, though Sarg FC got close a few times). But yeah, the lead kicked me out of the raid group on the night I arrived in Japan. That FC had been a blast, and it was mostly centered around the raid groups. One raid group got fed up with having to kowtow to event schedule, and left to form their own FC. I put my alt with them, and the raid lead in my own group kind of interpreted it as me wanting a better group.

Anyway, I guess I wrote all this to say, it's not really about how you perceive the group or what you expect for the group, it's how the group perceives you that determines how you will be received. If you want to be in an FC and have the FC embrace you, then sometimes you have to make concessions and put them ahead of yourself. And it takes time to really bond and grow close to people.

[SturmChurro]

I generally prefer to play alone. but depending on mutual interests I will add people or join linkshells. Even there, unless it is curated people get very hostile over differing opinions - and I am referring to opinions on different aspects of the game (not RL opinions). I won't join a clan or guild in any game unless I have known and played with somebody in it before. I won't go looking for one, nor will I join a random invite one. This community - in general - does irritate me quite a bit, so that might also be a problem.

For the OP, I think you might have just read the room wrong. It's pretty common for guilds or clans to have pre-established friend groups, but with this game you are kind of walking on eggshells when you chat. It's a community problem most of all, in my opinion. Heck, you don't even have to chat, just playing the game in a different way than someone else, may get you "reported".