To be fair, most of those people would agree with you. Dungeons aren't without their own broad range of critics.
The difference in the conversation between dungeons and FATEs comes mostly from (1) precedents, (2) time investment required, and (3) choice or lack thereof.
We've seen harder dungeons, in the form of undergeared AK and pre-nerf Pharos Sirius. But there are no particularly "difficult" FATEs -- only ones that will either unavoidably one-shot non-tanks for seemingly little reason or screw over melee entirely. Even the easiest dungeon, moreover, will take far, far longer than the easiest FATE (assuming equal player count at both the current FATE as the one that caused the current FATE's scaling). Thus we're free to make FATEs far more involved without locking out players without the necessary time bank; our only issue would be that FATEs are so often done only while in queue for other types of content (though, making FATEs more interesting and rewarding would already mitigate that) and FATE rewards on FATEs that finish after you leave the zone or go into an instance were removed in... mid ARR, I want to say?
Larger than that, though, there is little choice in dungeon selection, especially now. The vast majority of dungeoning is done through leveling via dungeon spam (with 1 choice at a time) or roulettes (no "choice", merely "randomization" -- now with at most two possible results in Expert Roulette, and with only one of those giving potential gear upgrades, down from the 3 equally useful possible results in ARR). A FATE, on the other hand, can be done or skipped at will. If some people want more involved FATEs, and others don't, then there's no real conflict. Said FATEs can be added and then skipped by those who'd rather just continue to chain the simpler ones, so long as their reward efficiency is nearly equal.
Simply put, unlike dungeons, there's no unavoidable compromise that would hold FATEs back from "improvement", as anyone might see it, so people will tend to be more vocal in their criticisms. After all, the most backlash one can get for suggesting potential improvements to FATEs is "I think they're fine already" rather than "What you want conflicts with what I want, and so I've prepared pitchforks, torches, cherry-pickers, and ad hominem arguments accordingly."



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