I don't think anyone is really against instanced housing.
I do think you might be underestimating the technical hurdles SE would have to work through to implement it in a way people would find satisfying. Remember FFXIV:ARR, and all subsequent expansions, is built on the skeleton of the original FFXIV. There's a lot of shortcuts and slapdash coding that was done to bring ARR into a workable and acceptable state. The limitations encountered now are the consequences of that.
I also don't think anyone believes SE can't "afford" it, more like SE has other priorities for their money. Every dollar FFXIV does not go back into the game's development. Far from it, most likely. Yoshi-P and the dev team gets their budget, which is likely much smaller than any of us would like it to be, and have to make do with that regardless of how much money FFXIV actually makes.