I'm assuming the "You already have the game, idiot" line isn't verbatim, or I'm going to question the legitimacy of that launcher.

More seriously, I'd be curious what the contents of the "FFXIV_BOOT.cfg" file in the "My Games\FINAL FANTASY XIV - A Realm Reborn" directory under your Documents directory are. (Specifically the "EulaAgreementNT", "EulaAgreement", and "EulaAgreementExBitArray32" values.)