Toxicity, Kindness, Abuse and the Exploitation of Kindness

[Shuuchi]

For the love of The Twelve, learn to write in paragraphs. Storytelling doesn't work well in bullet points.

I'll keep that in mind the next time I use the forums.

Must have been some convo with the FC mate since this was a while back though.

Heh, thanks for reading through the whole thing.
The story came back to me when we were having a discussion on the FF14 community, thus the "exploitation of kindness" in the title.

[MelodyCrystel]

For the love of The Twelve, learn to write in paragraphs. Storytelling doesn't work well in bullet points.

'Bravo', now it's what some of you English-natives might call "walls of texts", thus people are less likely to read it.
->The resumee was just fine the way it was; namely what we Germans call "übersichtlich". (Also, "storytelling"? This isn't a light-novel, for the love of The Twelve!)

[LalafellDown]

You handled it well. Just like Kratos tells us, “do not be sorry be better.”

[Morningstar1337]

I've been on the other side of that coin last night. My FC decided to do a Copied Factory run for someone that didn't do it yet, and I in my infinite "wisdom" decided to go as AST in an instance where I die often as a DPS class (long story but it basically boiled down to think we wouden't get a second healer otherwise).

Was surprisingly chill compared to your experience OP, though that might be because it was my co healer (also from my FC) that wound up rezzing me multiple times (and she seemed to reveled in the chaoticness of it all, even got to use Healer LB3 in at least 3 of the fights.) I only got rezzed by another alliance a couple times as a result and as such few people if any noticed until I apologized in alliance chat. There were no total party wipes, but the experience had me agreeing that one should never queue for an important role for Alliance raids if they are prone to dying.

(as for why I didn't quit chalk that up the sunk cost fallacy, though karma might had ensured I walked out relatively empty handed)

[kaynide]

Just reading this alone, I think the answer is you probably could have handled it a little more tactfully. If, as you said, your first real contact with team B (“kick the whm” in boss 3), should have been right around boss 1, maybe immediately after. Rather than kick, it could have been “hey Whm, are you ok? New to raid? Made a mistake in your roulette and got something harder than you were planning for?” Etc.

Point being, discussing it out would let other players in B to be more aware/careful and/or healers in A/C to keep an eye out/pitch in when able.

Even with that, there is no telling how the whm would react. Some players are genuinely awkward at their roles, others rather delicate snowflakes.


Semi Off topic:
Reminds of of waaay back in 2.0 I was main tank in Labyrinth if the Ancients when a whm kept regen-ing me before pulling...After being told to wait about 3 seconds before regen...she didn’t, so she face tanked behemoth for a few seconds and howled the whole time. This was a time where the tank had to get in a few hits to establish aggro. Her response was simply “well this never happens to ME!” To which most of the raid said “well now it HAS”

Note this was maybe week...2 or 3 of the raid being new. Also was the first large raid ever in the game with iLVLs being somewhat low at the time.

[Canadane]

'Bravo', now it's what some of you English-natives might call "walls of texts", thus people are less likely to read it.
->The resumee was just fine the way it was; namely what we Germans call "übersichtlich". (Also, "storytelling"? This isn't a light-novel, for the love of The Twelve!)

A wall of text would be unformatted.
This is properly paragraphed and easy to read, at least in English.

And while it's not a novel, it's was still the intention to a the tale.

[NanaWiloh]

This was back when Orbornne was still relevant content. There are some mechanics where you HAVE to have 2 healers. Take TG Cid’s doom for example. You mighy barely be able to get everyone back to 100% with only 1 healer, but you won't have enough mana for the next mechanic. Especially if you barely have any mp in the first place from solo healing.

I suppose I should have communicated more. But that in itself may be seen as being "toxic", no?
Something like "Tank, everything okay?" is usually followed with "U mad bro?" after all.

Trying to solo heal that Doom Mechanic on Cid is not fun when your co-healer wont heal. As a AST in Dur sect I can save everyone but 1 or 2 people if I am on the ball, in Noct sect though at least 3 or 4 people are going to die.

[PharisHanasaki]

A bit late to the topic, but as someone said, it takes more than one healer to wipe a raid.
There are 2 healers, in fact. Unless you saw such WHM intentionally wipe their group.
Either way, you shouldn't have called them out, they weren't on your alliance, you had no idea what was happening on their chat, the party is made of 8 people not 1, you didn't know if they were new and didn't know mechs, etc.
However it doesn't matter much in the end. You made their day even more miserable, but you probably will never see them again.