Your biggest issue was in calling out someone who wasn't in your alliance.... I'm also not insisting you were wrong or right in the matter but that's where the main issue "started" for you (well other than wiping a gazillion times).

When you call out someone in your own group and ask them to be kicked, the entire group can easily see the bad egg, eggs. When you call out someone specifically from another alliance only the people who were paying attention to whole shebang will know where you're coming from (I also know several people who do alliance raids on jobs that can't rez and therefore do not use the alliance bars at all.. people like that wouldnt be able to piece it together). As for why that group wasn't "fixing" things on there end without insistence, well there could have been dialogue going on in that group (maybe she mentioned she was new or not feeling well at the start) and they were "okay" with the situation for the most part.. again not saying it's right because that raid really did need all hands on deck during it's expansion (still need several hands just can get by without all hands) but that could have been why they didn't take care of it.

I don't think you would have finished that raid as it was without the changing of the guard there hypothetically could have been a "better way" to handle trying to get it done... we each take that risk when we run content, do we want to call it quits and take the penalty or risk coming off being the bad guy/being accused of being in the wrong... that's just the way it goes sometimes.

Must have been some convo with the FC mate since this was a while back though.