Toxicity, Kindness, Abuse and the Exploitation of Kindness

[Fynlar]

Nobody else saw or understood your struggle; all they saw was one person calling out another person, making them disband, and "slowing down" their completion time.

You should weigh the value of their inputs appropriately.

- If the whm had gone in as dps, none of this would have happened. She could have leeched off the rest of raid and no one would have noticed. Why did she choose such an important role?

Not everyone has alternate roles leveled.

[GrumbleBeard]

Your best bet when doing anything in this game is to take things as they come and move on. Sometimes you get unlucky and get all the knuckleheads in one duty, and it's your choice to stick it out or leave. No matter what you choose, just don't dwell on it. It's a pretty good chance that your next run will be better and staying upset at people you likely won't see again just hurts yourself.

[Melichoir]

Yeah, have to agree, if your story is as you say - asking them to kick the bad healer is fine after said healer has demonstrated such poor performance that it is impacting the raid.

People are always so afraid of using vote kick, but it's there for a reason. Every player needs to understand that if they suck so bad it stops progress in a dungeon, they can be kicked and it is their fault. If you cant be bothered to learn the game and try to play it to an ok manner (which is incredibly easy for FFXIV due to the low skill floor), then dont get shocked and b.hurt that you get called out and/or kicked.

Someone sucking at the game and preventing other people from enjoying the content isnt acceptable. People need to really switch the way they think: It's better to be the carry, than get carried.

[Lium]

There might be more to this story because we're only getting one side here, but just based on what the OP said, I give him credit for keeping an eye on Group B and being Johnny on the spot with all those rezzes even though he was on a DPS job, assuming what he said was true.

But I also think calling for someone to be kicked rather than asking them what's going on first is going to rub everyone the wrong way, even if you're in the right. And I can't really blame them. Whenever I'm in a group or raid and someone is underperforming, especially if they are a tank or healer, I always ask them euphemistically, "Tank, everything okay?" Which is a very nice way of saying "WTF are you doing?" I'm quick to that if I'm the healer.

In the OP's situation, something just seems off. There are two healers in every group, so not sure how one healer can wipe the group instantly like that.

[Shuuchi]

This was back when Orbornne was still relevant content. There are some mechanics where you HAVE to have 2 healers. Take TG Cid’s doom for example. You mighy barely be able to get everyone back to 100% with only 1 healer, but you won't have enough mana for the next mechanic. Especially if you barely have any mp in the first place from solo healing.

I suppose I should have communicated more. But that in itself may be seen as being "toxic", no?
Something like "Tank, everything okay?" is usually followed with "U mad bro?" after all.

[NanaWiloh]

This was back when Orbornne was still relevant content. There are some mechanics where you HAVE to have 2 healers. Take TG Cid’s doom for example. You mighy barely be able to get everyone back to 100% with only 1 healer, but you won't have enough mana for the next mechanic. Especially if you barely have any mp in the first place from solo healing.

I suppose I should have communicated more. But that in itself may be seen as being "toxic", no?
Something like "Tank, everything okay?" is usually followed with "U mad bro?" after all.

Trying to solo heal that Doom Mechanic on Cid is not fun when your co-healer wont heal. As a AST in Dur sect I can save everyone but 1 or 2 people if I am on the ball, in Noct sect though at least 3 or 4 people are going to die.

[Awha]

Should have called them out sooner and removed them a lot sooner. Idc if you do not feel well, someone died in your family, pool is on fire, power is going out etc . . . (Have heard each of these one time or another) if you queue for something knowing full well that you will not be able to perform then in my eyes you are scum as my old man would say.

Shit happens, but do not force a group to deal with it, leave without having the group to try a carry your dead weight through the content cause you might be having a bad day.

[Canadane]

For the love of The Twelve, learn to write in paragraphs. Storytelling doesn't work well in bullet points.

[Shuuchi]

For the love of The Twelve, learn to write in paragraphs. Storytelling doesn't work well in bullet points.

I'll keep that in mind the next time I use the forums.

Must have been some convo with the FC mate since this was a while back though.

Heh, thanks for reading through the whole thing.
The story came back to me when we were having a discussion on the FF14 community, thus the "exploitation of kindness" in the title.

[MelodyCrystel]

For the love of The Twelve, learn to write in paragraphs. Storytelling doesn't work well in bullet points.

'Bravo', now it's what some of you English-natives might call "walls of texts", thus people are less likely to read it.
->The resumee was just fine the way it was; namely what we Germans call "übersichtlich". (Also, "storytelling"? This isn't a light-novel, for the love of The Twelve!)