What crazy things do your retainers get up to?

[Recon1o6]

As we all know, retainers to the warriors of light/darkness are some of the most patient albeit terrifying people. They have to sell our things, hold our inventory for years on end, wear the crap or terrible glamours that we give them on our cast off gear- even have to act and speak in front of us according to our whims all for the sake of a couple of venture coins every few eorzean days

Yet what happens when we ask them to go out on a quick exploration? They come back with all sorts of things. Fish, building parts, raid weapons, dyes... and sometimes the sheer fact they have these items leads to all sorts of curious stories

Case in point for my retainers:

Back in stormblood, my hunting retainer beat O4S and gave me a Genji Naginata before I had even cleared O2s. I was legitimately frightened as she was level 64 same as my DRG at the time.

My botanist gave me several pieces of shirogane housing of various kinds. When I next went to shirogane, I found a demolished house not far from my FC building

Yesterday and this as what prompted this thread, my miner retainer sold 2 spare pure white dye for me for 600k gil. When she came back from the venture, she came back with 2 pure white dye. She then did it again with jet black dye

Poor fishing retainer hasn't been around very long yet...but that's not stopped her from apparently going back in time and acquiring a sunburst headgear of casting from Diadem 1.0


I'm convinced though most of the time two of my retainers spend their time on the beach or at the diadem. I keep getting fish and Sky rat X pieces from them

What crazy things have your retainers done?

[Eldevern]

Mine looks to be a thief, she sometimes comes back with Primals trophies.

I tend to think she comes back from time to time to plunder the Shisui of the Violet Tides too.

[Metsonm]

Always a fan of my retainers casually bringing me the head of Bahamut or Odin's mantle.

[Iscah]

One of my characters is officially a retainer - she thinks it's brilliant. People pay her to go on week-long camping trips in the mountains as long as she brings back random trinkets.

[Neoom]

My catboy retainer who is a WHM either likes fighting primals alone (maybe his hobby?) or bring me fish o.O At one point he would only give me different fished for days and days... Now I think he eats them himself as I get some housing items :'D

[Gemina]

My retainers have never brought me back a raid weapon. Raid gear sure, but never a weapon. I was thinking maybe it's because I don't do savage, but I actually just don't do them while they are relevant, and have savage clears up to SB.

My retainers love dungeons. Boy do they love dungeons. I do treat them good though. They are leveled, up to date with gear, and each have their own glamours that I've never worn myself. Sure, I may fire them on a whim, but while they are with me they are spoiled rotten. If they don't want to get fired, they can't be bringing me back dead fish.

[SugarPuff]

They've brought back some interesting items over the years but I think what surprised me most is how much PVP mine must do, because they're always bringing me weapons and armor bought with wolf marks. I can't complain, the warwolf rod is one of my favorite glamours, but it is a bit of a mystery how they picked up that hobby since I've never set foot in PVP.

My highlander girl gave me a retainer fantasia once, which must have been tough to find judging by how none of them have ever brought me another.

[Kirika-]

Mine are enablers.... Love it when they bring me High Cordials.......<hiccup>

[Miracle_Diva]

My botanist and miner bring me fish.

[Anienai]

What crazy things have your retainers done?

My answers depend on the statue of limitations on Hydaelyn.