It's funny you talk about someone else wasting time when you're the only person in that scenario wasting time not only by pulling small but intentionally letting someone die so as to extend the run.
The monotony and hypocrisy of what's continuously being said here is so boring. What you say about "you're not the only person here" applies to everyone, the tank is not excluded from this. If three people want to go fast and the tank doesn't, it is the tank that is the problem. Just like pulling for the tank might be inconsiderate, the tank refusing to accommodate for the rest of the players is also inconsiderate. No one person gets to decide everything in a group and being the tank definitely does not give you that privilege.
In my case, we were in mociannes hard, and the tank was baby pulling. He was level 80 on the tank, had several other jobs at 80, not on his first time. Me as the healer and two dps all wanted to go fast, so I pulled for him and proceeded to never need a healing spell the entire dungeon, and he got mad in me in chat for pulling. At this point he started to dig in his heels and start trolling, by doing single target rotations, turning his stance off and refusing to pick up the mobs. At this point, we have one player throwing a hissy fit because three people didn't agree with him when we didn't even need him in the first place. A vote kick was called, and I voted no because I hate kicking, but the other two wanted it so he got kicked. Their reasoning was the tank was refusing to play his job when on all technicality that was exactly correct. Now you see in this scenario the only problem here was the tank. Doesn't feel so good to use this argument now right? Nothing entitled him to act that way.
Nothing about tanking matters. It's braindead easy. You press one button and now have aggro. Most dungeons do not require a tank, the tank simply makes it more convenient. To think that spamming two buttons over and over while pressing one mitigation spell occasionally is hard or entitles you to decide everything is absurd. I'm so glad I never developed brain rot from playing tanks so much. As the tank, I am a player that has just as much say in the matter that everyone else does. You owe everyone there just as much courtesy as everyone else does and all this anxiety stuff is an uncalled for non-issue. The enmity debate is dead and no longer matters. Games and people change and we're at the point people still feel entitled to force some ridiculous rules that no longer apply.
If you ask me, the difficulty of big pulls should be mandatory. No optional pulling two at a time, you're forced to take more damage from more mobs so you can actually be a TANK and not a useless princess standing there slowing everyone down for the sake of your own baseless discomfort. You don't need a tank for single pulls so where exactly does this level of feeling the need to be coddled come from? If you can't handle it, you don't deserve to be a tank. If you're the player who babypulls no matter what, I know you're not using cooldowns properly for busters either, so then why are you playing a tank. This is not animal crossing. There is supposed to be some form of challenge. If there was no challenge, this game would be dead. To imply otherwise basically means you think people would be okay standing around hitting a striking dummy for the rest of the game, which will never happen. And yet that is the level of difficulty you take on by insisting you need to be slow. If you feel that pressured, play animal crossing.
This is coming from a casual player who plays to relax and have fun. I play to feel engaged, not fall asleep. Again, if all of this sounds too scary, then you shouldn't be playing a tank, and probably not this game at all.
By the way, the healers who act like this are just as bad. People who say "I let people die for x reason" or talk about not resing people who have died for whatever reason. It's one thing to not res someone to save mp because they die every ten seconds and there's no point to, and another to "stand on someone's corpse and continue dpsing to shame them." What is WRONG with you? Healers arent special either, no one is. What is it about these roles that automatically turn people into feeling entitlement while being a complete asshole? You are there to heal people, not laugh and point at others' mistakes and decide whether or not they get to play just because you are a healer. This even includes people who may die a LOT in some places. It happens to everyone, it happens to me, you don't get to decide someone else doesn't get to play because they're having a bad day. If they're not trying and ignoring everything? Fine, let them sit there, it's their choice that they no longer get to play. Otherwise though? No, get off your high horse and realize that everyone else is a person just like you are.
Editing this to add on a bit: By continually insinuating that the tank decides what gets pulled and how much, you're also implying that it's okay for a tank to continually pull big after several wipes even though the healer can't handle it. But the tank controls the pace no matter what right??? Or if someone wants to like, full clear haukke manor, and the other people do too, you think the tank is justified in still wanting to rush ahead despite what the group wants? I thought we reached the conclusion it's not okay for the tank to decide everything like that in a different thread lmao