HTTPS System Error -2146697211

[Ryedan]

My launcher has suddenly started giving me (and my friend on the same network) this new error.

Relevant Info:
Steam install
Windows 10
Charter Internet
TP Link router
I have not changed ISPs, routers or anything since I started playing.
I am not running through a VPN


I have tried all 20+ suggestions for resolving this:
- Resetting IE (cookies, prefs)
- Adding ff14.com to permitted sites
- Toggling firewalls / Anti-Virus protections
- Restarting every combination of router, computer and network adapter
- Reinstalling the launcher
- Enabling "install media" and "SSL2.0" etc. that other articles have suggested
- Deleting / regenerating the boot config files, including changing browser index

My laptop has the same problem when playing on that same network.

If 3 unique computers are having this error, it's clearly not a client side problem, and since my router/modem/ISP haven't changed, I can't figure any of this out.

This issue has happened many times before, and it seems to randomly solve itself, sometimes lasting minutes, other times hours. Even if I do NOTHING (i.e. launch, see the error, wait, then launch again) it can sometimes resolve itself.

It's now been the better part of a day and it still won't launch. I'm about to give up.