Quote Originally Posted by Melichoir View Post
The issue with the 'victim blaming' is that it is designed to remove agency from people broadly and treat them as children incapable of dealing with discomfort. Yes there are jerks in the world and they will say and do things at times that arent great. You can deal with it and address those issues in a way you see fit, or you can become overly upset and incapable of reacting, relying on GMs to come in an fix ti for you. Mind you, at that piont the damage is done and even with banning/addressing it, you are already 'injured'. So the GM banning someone doesnt change that discomfort you experience. Its not preventative, its reactive after the fact. Only way to make it preventative is to be draconian in how you deal with player interaction - something Im not for.

It's not abhorrent to think people are stronger than they give themselves credit for and are more or less capable to addressing most of lifes issues themselves. If were discussing targeted sustained harassment where the perp uses loop holes or work arounds to get around you dealing with them, thats another subject and in those cases things have to addressed case by case.

Beyond that, it still comes back to what defines unpleasant and vile, because again, that is subjective. As an example, if someone tells me "Hey, you should be using 'x' for 'y'" I dont take that as an affront, but there are players who do. I also know that sometimes people say things bluntly that come off as mean spirited when its simply a case of poor word choices or awkward social interactions. So instead of becoming hurt and offended I just ask for clarity and decide from there. But I digress again.
You argument feels really messed up, it seems to be that it's ok to abuse people as it's good for them. That seems to be the go to for bullies these days, they harass someone and then act all shocked when called out on it and then use the to further attack the person they are harassing.