Great info everyone, definitely will wait for the merge n see what happens other than that I'll try different LS sites/forums, some of them seem to have disbanded with tags like "no one could get along" so I guess the game mechanics frustrate people that much it shows in their play style lol

The one enhancement I've always wanted to see out of this unfortunate peer pressuring is a regimen where randoms are put on a waiting list to get into some cavern and it alerts you when an appropriate party is found (based on others' ranks/abilities etc) so it gives people an opportunity to do their quest AND see if playing with those people will lead to their own linkshells...but not going to even bother putting it to SE, they never listen!