Having issues making friends in-game. Am I missing something?

[LauraAdalena]

Oh hey there again. I feel like I've quoted you before.

This has nothing to do with you or me, it is just the nature of the game and the current gaming philosphy. People "nowadays" do not enjoy games anymore, they treat it is job. And because of that, they watch TV, talk on the phone, heck, they do not even bother connecting a keyboard to their PlayStations. Then there is the Duty Finder (bless it!) which makes it unnecessary to form local parties as it does the stuff for you and presents a "ready-to-rumble" group on a silver platter. And later there are "Trusts" (almost added a "h"...) which are NPCs to run dungeons with.

Maybe it's just me, but I feel like this is a very negative outlook on people. While there's a minority that do this (as far as I know, this is not common and those that do that are few and far between or are doing it just to do two things at once). As for the duty finder, this is a thing that many people have discussed in the past and said that this is a far better way to do it than it used to be done. And if you don't want that, PF is still there to offer itself. Would it be more efficient if you are looking for efficiency? absolutely not. Which is why it's perfect for finding like-minded people! (also, I notice you aren't a native english speaker, it's more proper to say "you or I" than you or me ^^)

As you can see, both the game and the players have a very serious anti-social tendency. I do not like that at all, but with Duty Finder and NPC around, you won't find many people that focus on the game and the players but rather to their Netflix show inbetween waiting times. This does not change a lot on maximum level.

This is puts a lot of blame on the wrong places. If what you were saying is true, then it's not the players and the game to blame it's the games outside of this one. Where 90% of the games have become "live services" and more of a grind and providing less difficulty. It's a very nuanced situation you have drawn upon to say this as a reason. There's more to it than just "people don't play games" or "game is designed bad". Instead of placing a lot of blame on both, the point is missed and blame should be placed in many places instead.

We simply do not need "those randoms you meet" when you get to play with randoms via Duty Finder at all; why engage in the first place? To be honest, it really hurts me in the stomach a lot... It works in Duty Finder because there we have to engage with each other, and voila, there is the fun and good times!

I'm confused... are you saying we should blame Duty Finder for creating this enviroment or not? Or do you possibly mean Party Finder? That being said, I get this problem. It's why I like to try to engage in conversation whenever I get the chance to help people, to make their days a little better, or even to make the atmosphere of the game a little less quiet.

Now, to address the OP. Don't worry too much if you don't make "friends". If you need someone to talk to maybe a less high-level FC would be better for you. What I've found is that just generally being kind, finding the right FC, and other stuff and finding one that fits what you like is pretty hard at times. Making "friends" can be even harder. So what I like to do is instead of trying to just make friends is just trying to be me. When I'm me and just go into places and I act kind I'll find people I like and generally just have laughs. I met one of my best friends just going into Labrynth of the Ancients and having a good time! Sometimes, you just find people and going out of your way to search is a lot harder than just relaxing. Maybe that's just me though.

[MistakeNot]

EDIT: I used a German/English dictionary for "Tagelöhner" and got "Peon" as a result. Now I saw it has a very negative undertone with slavery. I did not intend that. A "Tagelöhner" (Tag = Day, Lohn = Wage) is a person that has very sporadic jobs, often just for that day ("den Tag") or a few hours. You go into a special office, a small waiting hall, and then you wait for a job which happens by the clerk handing out jobs that come in via phone, such as "We need a person for carrying boxes for 5 hours" or "We need help at cleaning up a festival site for the whole day".

So instead of playing with "my homies" and doing tasks with them like a worker with colleagues he knows, I am just a "Tagelöhner" that does that one particular job after pulling a number (Duty Finder waiting list) in the job agency (Duty Finder). And that is a terrible feeling and can get even grown men sad......

Just FYI: The corresponding English term is "Day laborer".

[SenorPatty]

My problem is sort of the reverse. I can be talkative, participate in social events and eventually make friends. The problem is that I don't know how to keep those connections. I just...slink out of everyone's radar, basically melding in the background completely unseen and unnoticed and I hate myself for doing so. I know why I'm like this cuz for a very long time when I was a kid, I used to move a lot so I never made long lasting relationships but you'd think by now, I would've gotten better.

At this point, I feel like Casper the friendly ghost: Here today to bring you a smile, gone tomorrow without even saying goodbye.

[Crushnight]

i've made a lot of my friends through raiding, good to just be in voice chat and when going for a static(if into that) can help break the ice a bit since it is common ground etc.

[Minako_Nightsong]

I have never made real friends in mmos. I meet people and add them to my friends' list then never seem to speak to them much, I just wave and emote smile if I happen to run across them.

When I am playing, my keyboard sits on my knees because I use my tv as my monitor and it's very comfy. I made myself a lot of emotes to say hello and good-bye and to convey basic emotes and messages since it's very hard to type this way. To type out a conversation, I need to place the keyboard on the coffee table and sit on the edge of the couch.

It's weird but I like to play with other people but I only talk sometimes in NN.

[SamSmoot]

I used to have friends, but maintaining them was too much work, so I just stopped looking for them many years ago..

[DynnDiablos]

I've been playing MMOs for years, but it has been a long time since I've been new to an MMO, so I've been trying to find a group of other players I can talk to and play alongside.

People I meet in the Duty Finder are usually amiable, but they don't talk much and focus on getting through the dungeon as quickly as possible - little room for small talk.

I've joined an FC, which I chat with, but I can't play with them because they're running high-level content I'm not allowed to access yet.

Even though my server is high population and the cities are crowded, I never run into anybody out in the world doing the same quests I am; the world feels empty.

I've looked around on other sites and joined a couple of Discords for newer players, but the people there are usually on different servers than I am.

Is there a better way to meet people who are new to the game and I can play with? Or will I have to stick it out until I'm max level to meet people?

Thanks in advance!

I am on Aether and would happily be your friend and run content. I am on Faerie but can easily hop onto Gilgamesh Let's make a time to meet up and add to friends lists.

[Novae]

I have the same problem. I've been playing for ~ 11 months, have a lot of people on my friends list BUT I've never felt this alone in a MMO. Don't get me wrong, I've met wonderful and really friendly persons, but most of time, they are new, and are so far behind that we couldn't really play together, well do current content together. I've run countless low level dungeons/trials to help them, killed way to many ARR ex primals for their ponies, just to remain alone at 70, then 80, spamming roulettes and PF.
ANd now that some are 80, they play with their RL friends OR just quit.

I'm glad to be a mentor just for the NN access though. It helps alleviating the solitude. I wish I'd be better at making friends, but I have great hopes for the incoming fellowships system. Being able to find players looking for the same things as me could be a game changer for me.

I wish you the best, hopefully you'll find a great group of friends to play with.

[Rasikko]

My problem is that I'm looking for a real friendship and not a shallow one..

DF is part of the problem, but not the main problem. People just wanna go in and get out as soon as possible and talking can prolong that. SE has certainly taken notice of the "DF problem" and has been implementing ways to make it more socially friendly. Contacts was added some time ago where we can see who we partied with and maybe can form something through that. Then there is World Visit. SE can only do so much, it is we who have to take steps forward.

[KitingGenbu]

For everyone looking to make friends, maybe try this thread since there were some posts made this month: http://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/threads/312294

or wait until fellowships go live and try doing stuff that way. You can still make/join a cross-world linkshell and just use the visit world feature (some newer people might not know this option exists) to meet up and do stuff together.