Quote Originally Posted by Arcadious View Post
I really appreciate the thoughtful response!

I'm glad I'm not alone in this! And if a fella' like you is having trouble, I'm not thrilled with my chances!

Hello there again!

I am sure your changes are higher though because I am not as open as I used to be. But after so many rubbish FCs and that permanent "resetting" of my status (read as: always being the "new guy" over and over) each time I tried and try to find my place made me a bit grumpy and I have developed a sixth sense when I feel the FC is not worth it. Checking via Lodestone to see what the members looks like, if their recruitment has decent rules in it (avoid those "We do everything and are awesme UwU" FCs), if the recruitment chat does not feel like I am dealing with a child or the top members running around in leopard thongs or underewear. This narrows the list of potential FCs by 80% already...

The symbolic circles you talk about I used in 2014 as well with my FC back then, which is funny that you see it exactly as much as I do. I had a great FC, they even still exist, but certain decisions and the fact the leader left made me leave it. The funny thing is that I want to finally settle, and I thought I found my place. Shared photos in Discord, was active, helped people (who silently left without a word....) - I promised I am loyal to the end. It took it exactly 2 weeks until the dealbreaker happened... Since then, I have had a great recruitment chats for 15 minutes, but after a while I was unsure again how I would fit in and decided against it. Now I am trapped in an awkward spiral.

Because I think fitting in is equally, if not more difficult. You will have established groups that run dungeons together, or your role is not needed. They will know each other, they have inside jokes you don't get and voice chat (if you want that) means a heavy Scottish accent you barely can understand, so you are left out of that again. You might find a FC that has the focus on gathering, crafting or the infamous "silent fishers" - people that AFK 98% of their time and are basically dead weight. I have had people joining and leaving without any reasons why (which is rude and anti-social), I have had drama by mentally unstable people (which is incredibly difficult to deal with), I have had FCs with a solid inner circle and I was "just there". This permanent restarting is what I can't do anymore. I came online, people greeted me with my nick ("Zed") and they knew if they want a DPS/Red Mage, they would call me. I always had the great feel of a FC, the chat was good and very warm. But then they decided to turn into something that they were not supposed to be..

As said, the FCs are out there. Plenty of them. And the entire community is on one hand great, on the other hand, what to expect by people not even connecting their keyboards? They outright refuse to talk or communicate in an multiplayer online game, and people like you and me are getting confused.

I have a little bit of an advantage though, and this is a true story: Being a Lalafell. Over the past years, I established many nice relationships by simply walking up to people in the Gridania inn or the Aetheryte and pointing at people sitting at the tables or benches. Within a few seconds you get either no reaction or a head pat. Or a /wave. That is the first step to test and break the ice if said person is ready to socialize. I found my great FC during a Castrum Run after I've been in banter with a Mi'Cat lady mocking my size. But everything after is discovering a pitch-black cave with a burning match in your hand...