If running a parser makes you cynical and depressed, why do it?

[CrimsonGunner]

Snip

please try to read what im saying to you with a calm and soothing tone of voice.


first of all calm down and release your rant ok?

second its our hobby and we play it during our spare time for fun so the amount of effort to it could be minimal cause again it is just a game.
that being said i do expect that at a proper level of content that does require certain amount of effort like raids,savages and extremes there should be a certain level of caring.
dungeons and normal trials are fairly low level of effort needed to clear them but i think we can agree there's minimal level and there is absolute 0 effort.
i believe your a person who will see a person under performing/making mistakes will offer him help and advice to improve him and make the gaming experience funner to him and everyone but if we do stumble upon a player that doesn't do anything on purpose(a.k.a leecher) you can always kick him from the party and if not we can always leave and join a different one with the ability to report them as well for ruining the experience.

i believe the OP is probably referring to those who care about big damage numbers and will first stomp at people and laugh at them cause they deemed them worthless because their numbers are a bit lower.
now i am sure most of the community(at least most people i met during my runs) aren't like that and probably used a parser during their runs to just improve themselves but as you mention the thread "share a DF story" and the venting going on does give the expression that those with parser judge and then laugh/dismiss you behind your back after the run was over which is essentially toxic.

as for my view on the point of this thread, i understand the OP point of view since i saw people complain not about the gameplay or mechanics of a job but rather about how much numbers the job does that the discussion of it reaches a point that on borderline obsession with it.
the only one who should care about a damage numbers professionally are DPS classes cause damage is their main thing to do and any discrepancy on it especially a wide gap leads to banning their jobs at parties for higher tier content.
the point of the OP ,i believe he is referring to those people who started taking those parser numbers to a level that it becomes worship and instead of using it to self improve, they start to use it as excuses or as the sole measurement of people and more importantly job and worse roles when that is simply not true(like you said your clemancy saved your party which is more important then damage).
i mean there's a thread about why tanks damage don't reach dps class damage levels, which their complain is seeing those numbers makes them feel bad for playing their role(which i find comparing between roles is really irrelevant) and that its ruining their enjoyment of the role which making you ask yourself why they do it then?

[Vidu]

please try to read what im saying to you with a calm and soothing tone of voice.

first of all calm down and release your rant ok?

second its our hobby and we play it during our spare time for fun so the amount of effort to it could be minimal cause again it is just a game.
that being said i do expect that at a proper level of content that does require certain amount of effort like raids,savages and extremes there should be a certain level of caring.
dungeons and normal trials are fairly low level of effort needed to clear them but i think we can agree there's minimal level and there is absolute 0 effort.
i believe your a person who will see a person under performing/making mistakes will offer him help and advice to improve him and make the gaming experience funner to him and everyone but if we do stumble upon a player that doesn't do anything on purpose(a.k.a leecher) you can always kick him from the party and if not we can always leave and join a different one with the ability to report them as well for ruining the experience.

i believe the OP is probably referring to those who care about big damage numbers and will first stomp at people and laugh at them cause they deemed them worthless because their numbers are a bit lower.
now i am sure most of the community(at least most people i met during my runs) aren't like that and probably used a parser during their runs to just improve themselves but as you mention the thread "share a DF story" and the venting going on does give the expression that those with parser judge and then laugh/dismiss you behind your back after the run was over which is essentially toxic.

as for my view on the point of this thread, i understand the OP point of view since i saw people complain not about the gameplay or mechanics of a job but rather about how much numbers the job does that the discussion of it reaches a point that on borderline obsession with it.
the only one who should care about a damage numbers professionally are DPS classes cause damage is their main thing to do and any discrepancy on it especially a wide gap leads to banning their jobs at parties for higher tier content.
the point of the OP ,i believe he is referring to those people who started taking those parser numbers to a level that it becomes worship and instead of using it to self improve, they start to use it as excuses or as the sole measurement of people and more importantly job and worse roles when that is simply not true(like you said your clemancy saved your party which is more important then damage).
i mean there's a thread about why tanks damage don't reach dps class damage levels, which their complain is seeing those numbers makes them feel bad for playing their role(which i find comparing between roles is really irrelevant) and that its ruining their enjoyment of the role which making you ask yourself why they do it then?

I'll pass on your patronising tone, since I am feeling calm enough, thank you very much.

You seem to have missed a few important points here, though:
Yes, it is just a game but since its a game you're playing with other people a certain amount of consideration for them and therefor a certain amount of effort should be expected. I'm not sure if you actually meant that but "0 effort" isnt even okay for normal dungeons - since 0 effort would kinda be just standing at the entrance and moving your character every couple of minutes to avoid the auto-kick.
If we put effort on a scale from 0-10 with 10 being Savage/Ultimate level and 0 standing at a dungeon entrance, I'd expect something between 5 and 7 from your average DF-person in an expert and something from 4 to 6 during leveling runs (I'll drop to a 3 for a totally new person in the first few dungeons). That includes things like: knowing when to AoE and when to single target and how to make use of your full toolkit. A healer can probably heal someone through a dungeon by only spamming their very first healing spell, the group will still finish the dungeon, but that healer wasnt doing a level-appropriate job in most cases.
Vote kicking or leaving arent always feasible options and we all know how well even polite and friendly advice works with a lot of people. So often the best option for people is to grumble a little, finish the run and then rant about it somewhere, which might lead to a wrong impression of how much they actually care about numbers.

Thats why I'm assuming that the OP is blowing this way out of proportion - maybe I'm reading undertones here that arent there and if so, I apologise. But the way this sounded to me is if this is a widespread problem, affeting a majority of the population instead of just a niche-clientel. Pair this with the anti-parser-stance you'll find quite often here and you'll end up with the impression that this isnt a genuie question out of curiosity, but a stealthy anti-parser-thread. Again, if thats only me seeing things that arent there, I apologise. (I still feel that a term like "depressed", thats actually describing a mental illness, shouldnt be used so lighthearted)
I'll also repeat that in my opinion the problem often arent the numbers but the reason for the numbers, aka underperforming players, that cause the frustration - and that I've seen far more severly underperforming people in my time with the game than people rubbing those numbers in someones face.

Which kinda brings me to my third point, which might be a real answer to the question at hand - if it was made in the good faith of trying to understand why someones enjoying something you personally arent: As pointed out correctly this is a game that we all play for fun. "Fun" can mean something different to each and everyone of us, though and achieving something thats "fun" to you can be paired with a certain hardship or even cause other people to not understand you.
Glamour for example is fun to many people. Personally I'll never understand those who dress their catgirls in super sexy outfits, but if thats what they enjoy, who am I to question that? I'll also never understand people who Fantasia every other week or spend hours with Jandelaine (seriously, there are better looking Elezen). But thats fine, if that what brings them joy in the end - even if its paired with the frustration that Au Ra horns are bound to their faces.
To me caring about your numbers above all else is kinda in the same court: For some people seeing those big numbers is whats most fun to them, so they'll pick a job they can achieve that with even if it might not be their favorite job to play - compromisse, we all make them (To refer back to my glamour-example: I ultimatly picked FemRoe as race, because I could achieve whats most important to me about character apperance - long hairstyles - with that race. Now I actually love everything about her, but I made the switch because of that one thing).
People look and care about their numbers because ultimatly thats what brings them joy and makes them enjoy the game, even if the process to get there is a painful one - and even if they only/mostly share the painful experiences they had on that way.

So, to actually answer the OPs question, I'll once again doubt the assumption that in the end (most) people are only getting cynical and depressed about seeing those numbers and instead get a substantial amount of their enjoyment from the game by pushing themself here. Its not something I personally enjoy and if you want an answer from someone who does, I'd advice to create a new thread thats phrased a bit differently (for example by not assuming that someone whos looking at their numbers and cares about them must suffer from a mental illness) and hear from people why they enjoy that so much if you cant wrap your head around that (which is totally fine, btw - not everyone needs to understand why people might enjoy something different from what they enjoy).

[CrimsonGunner]

snip

i guess it does sound a bit petronizing when it was actually to try and calm you. my bad

i guess that sentence about minimal and 0 effort wasn't clear as well
i meant that dungeons are easy enough for us to go through it with minimal effort(meaning no need to optimize our skills) but there is a different between that and doing 0 effort in dungeons meaning someone who tries to get carried on purpose and that isn't ok ,again my fault for not expressing it good enough .

i agree with you that there is needing to be a certain level of effort you need to put depending on the content and its level of difficulty.
but i don't agree with you about that if you do dungeons(only on them) then its wrong if you are not doing it on a full knowing and using your kit level.
as long as you and the party clearing the dungeon and it doesn't bother them or ruin the runs then its ok if you under perform however if it does bother them then improve during the run or expect to be kicked out of it.(for a healer it is more noticeable cause if he slacks off too much,he causes a wipe). even on high level dungeons cause there are also people who either use jump potions or just leveling to get it over with ,so as long they just carry their part in the party ,its fine for me however if not then expect me to vote kick you and if the party bothers me ,then "see you guys im going to queue" .