Excuses - best/worst you've heard in game

[Aivi_lo]

Today I was clearing a few ex primals I hadn't done before (many many thanks to the people who joined my parties and helped) ☺️

In the wreath of snakes, (and I still can't tell if this was a real excuse or just a proper troll) we had a real issue with one of the tanks. He was either spinning the boss or standing it in odd places (at the towers, but not his tower) or facing the tethered add into everybody. Everyone was really nice and patient but we just kept getting stuck at the 2x cursekeeper tank swap and dying. The tank (who hadn't said anything throughout) just wasn't either shirking or provoking for the second cursekeeper. Everyone was really nice about it, with the other tank triple checking he was doing everything right.
After about the 5th fail (possibly more) the tank suddenly said his wife had just woken him up, and it hadn't been him playing and it was his 8 year old child playing. He apologised profusely and said to look at his gear you can see he knew how to do this. So we went back with him boasting it would be a quick clear now he was playing. He promptly messed up the first cursekeeper, said it was because he'd just woken up, then bailed ><
We got another tank and cleared first try ������
The rest of the party were of the opinion he was literally trolling us, but I've never met anyone who would put that amount of effort and time into it.
I wondered if anyone else had experienced anything similar?

[monk-dps]

Lol. Least he was funny about it. Lol

[Crushnight]

Best - I gotta go take a huge poop, my gf will take over she cannot play to save her life but better than me face planting my wireless keyboard and running a mouse across a wall.(replace poop and to save her life for obvious swear word)

Worst - "You don't pay my sub"

[AzazelCaine]

Adding to the list: "BRB, my cat puked"

[Kanitezz]

I've heard the 'My younger sibling was playing' excuse a lot. Thing is it only ever comes after the person in question makes an embarrassing mistake.

[Lilseph]

Best excuse: My dog is on fire.
Worst excuse: "lol idc its just a vidyagame"

[Canadane]

My toes are cold!

[Nix]

Adding to the list: "BRB, my cat puked"

I've actually had to use this one in an MSQ roulette... My cat, bless her, will puke and then try to bury it in the carpet if you don't get to it quickly... This turns a 30 second job into a 20 minute job.

[Aivi_lo]

Adding to the list: "BRB, my cat puked"

My cat does (so I'm totally guilty of that, but it's a real thing) , she's a cowbag and sometimes starts making the noise for no reason (like when she wants attention) and it's like a panic to get to her before she does it, in case that time she's not faking it. I also have to go let my dog out and in but that's like 20 second max. When he starts doing the dance I've found it prudent not to wait.
Also another real one from me is getting attacked by a giant spider

[Crushnight]

got another one
https://youtu.be/nmnqrG0Cskc