I dont have personal experience here, but I never really cared for the argument "But he said mean stuff first/too!", so I see nothing wrong with the GMs not really considering that - specially not if we consider that there is a good chance we're all adults here and therefor should be able to walk away from any provocation instead of reacting to it. And if someone cant do that, it seems justified to me for them to be slapped with a penalty or warning. This isnt kindergarden after all.

In addition to that: You have the same tools at your disposal, aka: reporting the person harrassing you. Instead of calling them names yourself and opening yourself up for a report. Seriously, someone saying/doing something that is against the ToS doesnt turn that enviroment (for example a chat) into a ToS-free-zone in which everything goes now. You're still liable for your actions.