Emet-Selch is a Huge Nerd

Well, Emet-buddy, you've put me on a real ride. You almost had me on the hook with your sob-story, but you ruined it when you showed me pictures of Hydaelyn giving Zodiark the smackdown. You showed me how cool your home was, only to ruin it with the wait times in court. Do you realize how many court summonseses I've had to deal with? Summonseses, that's the plural for summons, right? Whatever. You showed me and my friends the armageddon that came down on Amaurot; the armageddon you imagined yourself. You're pretty good at ruining things, aren't you?

Urianger or whatever was right about you. Any nerdst who's lookedesteth at a history book would you you're bad news. Eth. Still working on getting his speech down.

Now you've gone and hurt my friends, and in a way that my injury plan doesn't cover. Granted, my plan wasn't very good, as it was just telling them to suck it up and walk it off. You thought all this light I drank would do me in? Turns out I'm not one to be drunk under that table, because I've got light...drinking buddy...Ardbert! You can add that title to the pile, Dr. Mr. Warrior of Darkness Ardbert, Portable Drinking Buddy Esq.

Emet-buddy, I don't know how to tell you this, but you might be a nerd. In fact, you might be history's biggest nerd, which means there's only one thing for me to do. So, here comes Thuggz Bunny, the light to your dark. The Hydaelyn to your Zodiark. The fist in your face. The...deep-fryer that...fries...your popotoes? Not my best metaphor...I've got a Matchlock Greatclub with your name on it! And soon, it'll have your face on it!

Emet-buddy, history's biggest nerd, I lower my shades with a glare of contempt for you. It's past time me and some of my inter-dimensional gang gave you history's biggest shakedown!



Side-thought: I wonder if those Gaelicat hats come with holes for my ears...