Ahh, to recall the early days of my adventures through Eorzia always fills my heart with gooey delight that gives me a taste for cake. I will not bore you with a sickly tale of joy or friendship but a tale of despair most foul! Worse than bad hair days or eating grilled unidentified flying biomasses. I’m talking about the dreaded primal of Kobolds, Mr Titan himself!

I was tasked to combat this angry, pudgy rock lord of meanness in a volcano called “The Navel”, which luckily contained far less gross primal lint then I initially feared. I was ill prepared to handle the stench of a group of adventurers in full armor immersed in an excessively heated environment. Regaining my composure, I beckoned my comrades to engage Titan.

I managed to survive the aura of severe body odor only to be presented a far worse fate. The Paladin yelled the order “Everyone, group up right behind his rear while I distract him!” While everyone else in the party followed suit, I simply could not gain the strength needed to be that close to Titan’s loin-clothed butt. Luckily for me, I was able to throw rocks at the primal and sometimes they didn’t just bounce off his girth.

The folly of not listening to the Paladin was my downfall, literally. The great Lord of the Crags turned around to face me, raised his fists, and left forth a great landslide at my direction. Not expecting such an attack, I stood there, dumbfounded, as I was struck by the assault. I had a nice moment of deep reflection as I plummeted towards the floor of the volcano. At least I had the wisdom to channel some wind to cushion my fall, but was feeling useless due to not being able to assist my team. I could feel their disappointment by all the pointing and laughter at my general direction after the victory. Those poor fools, so close to their demise by not having me heal them that the worry and sobbing was manifested into jests.

After I climbed back up and congratulated my friends for the victory, the callous Black Mage had the gall to ask me if I was alright, stating that I took quite the tumble and was looking pale and angry. Well, he had the “angry” part right, but that was mostly because he said I looked pale. I assisted in teaching him manors with my mighty staff of head-clonking and we all headed out. I have became great friends with many of my fellow adventurers from that day, except for the black mage who apparently “blacklisted” me, which I assume is some sort of thaumaturge notebook or something.

Just one recollection among many, thanks so much for the years of memories and the ones yet to come! (my first post ever after four years of playing, yay contests )

~Candle Styx

(I would just LOVE to adorn my ear with the bluebird earring )