When I'm not slaying gods or obsessing over glamour, even the Warrior of Light has his pastimes. For today, gathering is on the calendar. Or it would be, if I weren’t so stubborn.
It wasn't the botanist’s axe that troubled me so, but rather that of the warrior’s, pleading to be unsheathed — to exact revenge upon the beast that had slain its owner.
At the levemete’s request, I made my rounds just south of Summerford. Strangely, as I began to dig up the La Noscean soil, it was almost as if I could sense some kind of powerful presence.
Warily, I scouted a dark figure in the distance; a creature, both burly yet lanky. As I drew in, it revealed itself to be a massive, mountainous… goobbue.
This goobbue, towering before me in all of his flowery, mossy greatness, was nothing to sneeze at. By tradition, I spare no monster and certainly no goobbue in my way, but for the moment, logic prevailed as I sneakily tiptoed around him.
Though, as the other tradition goes, my logic never fails to disappoint. He quickly turned around and heartily slapped me in the face.
A single hit had knocked me out, and I returned to the aether, soon awakening in Limsa Lominsa. So began the cyclic tragedy, for my ego would never allow the tale to end so abruptly. And besides, Mr. Zango wouldn’t let me off so easily.
Upon my first return, I came in gear that was befitting of my new goal: to best this vile, putrid fiend, here and now. In other words, it was a long day. The traces of moldy phlegm that linger in my attire, even now, are a testament to either my bravery or my stupidity.
A dozen attempts had passed before long, all comprised of throwing myself against a literal stone wall. But by Thal’s balls was I going to see this goobbue pushing up daisies — not from his head, but from the ground.
Countless tries later, a fellow adventurer drew near, likely to witness another personal Calamity. But swiftly, she activated her linkpearl and uttered:
“S Rank ▶Middle La Noscea ( 24.2 , 20.1 )”
Were those words a declaration of war? A magical spell from the arcanist's guild? Clearly, it must’ve been the latter, for it summoned what seemed like the entire continent before I could process an answer. A colossal crowd lied patiently in wait, thirsting for goobbue blood, until one began to dash forward and draw his attention. Like a stampede did the rest follow, weapons raised, delivering unto him a pain even greater than my own. Within mere seconds, he fell, and in another few did people say their thanks and disperse.
At the time, I hadn’t a clue what kind of spontaneous murder meeting I bore witness to. All I knew was that I was in sheer awe from such a beautiful display of teamwork; and though it put a dent in my pride, watching the systematic destruction of my foe was cathartic enough to repair it.
Rest in peace, Croque-Mitaine, until we meet again… down here, in Eorzea.
(Gaelicap)