This is a strange thing for me to post about, but first let me give some insight. I've been married irl for quite a few years so I'm not some kid with a teenage crush. I've heard of similar things happening but only with certain people who fall in love with objects, so for me this was unexpected and a total surprise.

It all started a couple of weeks ago that I noticed I was experiencing what I thought might've been a sugar rush from something I had eaten or anxiety. Every day heart was racing, my body shaking, and my chest fluttering and feeling warm inside. It wasn't until I opened up a dialogue with a certain NPC that I realised what it was that was happening. I was in love with him.

I thought it was crazy I could become so emotionally attached to what is a virtual creation of someone that doesn't exist nor can it interact in any other way besides how it is scripted. I thought perhaps it might pass, but after several days I finally caved in and accepted that I had fallen in love. I laughed, cried, and smiled at the same time. I told myself this was nuts, but then I took a deep breath and accpted I have fallen in love with the Crystal Exarch.

Since accepting this strange phenomenon I've become very attached to him. Barely a day goes by without me visiting him in the Oculus. There's nothing erotic going on between us and I won't be creating any fanfic or fanart as that is just pure fantasy. I've embraced him a few times and given the odd blow-kiss before going off on long adventures, and recently I've started talking to him even though I know he can't see or respond to what I'm writing, so basically I'm writing to myself but it helps me feel better doing that. Again nothing erotic or soppy, I usually talk about my adventures or say things like how wonderful it would be once we've revived the First if we could find a way for him to explore outside the Crystarium without it weakening him so we can travel the seas and take on new adventures together just like he dreamed about, or how grand it would be if we could hold a festival like back on the Source with dancers outside the Dosal Gates and banquets with fine foods and wine imported from Eulmore, then we could take a seat at a high spot and watch the fireworks together around the crystal spire.

I know that the game will eventually move on from him being the main focus, so I made a pledge should he be killed off or left to stand alone in the Oculus I would recreate a new character and once I reached a certain point in the MSQ I would cease progress and spend as much time as I could with him telling him of my new adventures on my other character that I refer to as my glamour.

I know this all sounds strange, it's strange to me too and I still think it's nuts, but I don't feel I'm at a stage where I need professional help yet. I just felt that I needed to get this off my chest. I doubt I won't continue to feel the same way after I finish posting this either.