How it used to be...

[IttyBitty]

Rose-tinted glasses are working overtime.

[Metalwrath]

OP the community has never been perfect and always friendly.You may have perceived it that way at first but ff14 has its toxic players just as much as any other MMO.
Having said that it was probably at its most toxic point at 2.0.PF didnt exist back then and to do dungeon runs for wanderers palace people only allowed bard and blm as dps into their parties as it was the optimal set up for speed runs.
You also had most coil parties refused to let warrior in.It was basically come as pld or gtfo.
Then there was also parties shouting for tank for titan hard mode and once again most of them only allowed you to join if you were pld.Would even laugh at you when you argued that warrior was also a tank.
Not to mention Titan hardmode fight itself.Never in the games history was the community more toxic than in instances for that fight.People raging and flaming and arguing nearly every single run.Kicking people over gear or a single mistake etc.

[ElazulHP]

[Mistyregions]

I think this game has made my social anxiety worse.

A few days ago I left my raidgroup because out of fear of learning harder fights with other people and how they react towards me. Well I know I am technically good enough to clear those fights, but I would prefer to do that together with NPCs to be honest xD. People are rude. Learning the 4th turn of Eden normal was already hard on the edge for me.
I recently also quit tanking after 4 years because of rude people. I know tanking was never the best choice to play in my condition, but it was fun.

I got depressions out of the whole situation, so I quit my raidgroup, changed to DD and plan to focus more on my fisher as my endgame. Maybe I try to clear PotD floor 200 solo to proof myself and all the world that I am not a bad player, I just can't stand the pressure in hardcore content with other people.

Did you ever Express these concerns ? I feel like if you had a raid group and you voiced your concerns it would have been fine? Just running from the problem doesn't solve anyting.

[Hawklaser]

Having said that it was probably at its most toxic point at 2.0.PF didnt exist back then and to do dungeon runs for wanderers palace people only allowed bard and blm as dps into their parties as it was the optimal set up for speed runs.
Then there was also parties shouting for tank for titan hard mode and once again most of them only allowed you to join if you were pld.Would even laugh at you when you argued that warrior was also a tank.
Not to mention Titan hardmode fight itself.

Oddly I never ran into this on my server. Did plenty of wanders and ampadoor as drg and smn, in addition to healing them on sch. I also never encountered the warrior hate you speak of. I do remember the frustration of the hard mode primals however. Between the lag from the server locations, animations obscuring the aoe markers, the short reaction windows, and Titan landslides connecting being a death sentence, people would get a little vocal after a bit.

It wasn't until after the duty finder where I really noticed much toxic behavior. Again, I think it's an effect of not having to worry about ones reputation.

[Evergrey]

FFXIV people can be quite toxic, even more if triggered the wrong(right?) way.

[Mahoukenshi]

Did you ever Express these concerns ? I feel like if you had a raid group and you voiced your concerns it would have been fine? Just running from the problem doesn't solve anyting.

Generally, when someone has Social Anxiety or Social Anxiety Disorder, something as "simple" as expressing concerns can pose a problem, depending on how and in which areas the anxiety manifests. "Just running from the problem doesn't solve anything" is all well and true, but do you really think that people with SA(D) are NOT aware of it? It's, for example, easy to repeat in your mind "Just talk/ask about it, I know that people are nice", but the body just doesn't "follow".

[Hash_Browns]

Did you ever Express these concerns ? I feel like if you had a raid group and you voiced your concerns it would have been fine? Just running from the problem doesn't solve anyting.

When you have social anxiety, and get it in your head that you would be a problem, do you really think that wouldn't be a concern either?
As someone who gets anxiety from the stupidest crap. In my head the scenario that plays out where I voice my concerns ended up with me being the horrible person.

[Tint]

Did you ever Express these concerns ? I feel like if you had a raid group and you voiced your concerns it would have been fine? Just running from the problem doesn't solve anyting.

Yes I did, I had a long conversation with my raidgroup. And the conclusion was that they more or less kicked me out instead of me leaving, because they don't wanted me to come along when I got depressions from it. Well, I was more than fine with it, it felt like a burden fell of from me.

And yes, I am already getting professional help for a couple of years now.

But social anxiety is... difficult. I'll give you an example of my life: I am living together with a good friend. Usually I am eating a lot of junkfood. And I am feared to buy healthy food because my friend would (probably) do ja joke commentary about it. So I buy junkfood just to avoid that commentary. It's stupid, I know... but these are things I realistically can work on.

The pressure of a raidgroup with 7 other people (where I only know half of them for longer) was maybe a bit too much for me. My head was spinning in "what - if - when" circles and of course it was leading to depressions.

[Vivi_Bushido]

I don't think it has anything to do with WoW or FFXIV specifically. The bottom line is, people just don't care. It's a cold rotten reality and it's the sad truth. They don't care about you or anyone else. This isn't everyone but it's a lot of people. They barely even care about their own friends. They get online to meme around for a few laughs and play the game for themselves. As long as they get what they want/need, you're only a pawn to their achievements. They have little to no interest to ever talking to with again; and for some, if they do, sometimes it's agenda driven unbeknownst to you. And since they can't hear or physically see you, it's even easier for them to treat you like a nobody. The only times I find people caring is when there is a reputation agenda attached. Such as a community representative wither it be LS, FC, discord, ect. Something that promotes their public social status. A lot of people are very narcissistic and have god complexes. They can never be wrong or proven wrong and how dare you for questioning them; even when facts are provided. Especially if they have friends to defend their honor just cause they like them over you. While others have zero tolerance for drama because how dare you have feelings. I've seen people kicked out of communities for wanting to talk about their mental states or feelings and were told it's toxic. People seem like emotionless robots sometimes.

My least favorite are the people who treat you like a demon and don't know how to forgive and hold never ending grudges as if people can't change when you do something wrong. Yeah a lot depends on circumstances and the context of a situation but more often than not, there isn't really a whole lot you can do over the internet that can't be forgiven. There are a lot of ways to make amends, a lot of people are stubborn and just don't want to forgive. So you end up in situations that once someone dislikes you, there is nothing you can do. It's forever out of your control. And you may not even know what you did wrong.

People are just mean because they want to be. This is why discrimination and racism among other things still exist in our world. Unfortunately more often than not. people do gain pleasure through schadenford. Your misfortune is their entertainment.