What do you do with a Blacklist full?

[Mistyregions]

I personally dont know you, but this question leads me to believe you are overly sensitive or insufferable to have that many people on your black list? I have exactly zero people on my black list because idgaf

[SerLuke]

If they are breaking TOS, then report them. Let SE sort it out.
As for "blatant transphobic posts", I can't take accusations like this seriously considering that anyone that doesn't automatically agree with someone saying they are trans is labeled as transphobic. It's been tossed around to the point it has no meaning.

As for "offensive behavior", there are people who take offense to the slightest thing. Is the entire playbase to be subject to these few individuals' fragility? Or would not the better approach be to encourage and help these individuals realize that they are strong enough to let it go? And before someone brings up extreme cases or fringe cases, I'm not saying let actual offensive behavior go (because I know someone would bring this up, and I'm sure someone still will even though I've made this comment)


So now it's shaming someone when the community is trying to help them by pointing out that they are the root of their own problem?

If everyone around you is mean, what are the chances that it's everyone around you who is the problem? Is it not more likely that the problem is you when you think everyone else is the problem? (you being used in the generic way, lest someone think I'm attacking SerLuke)

Okay say hypothetically they actually do have a problem, maybe major depression, or social anxiety, or Aspergers, etc, how is telling them they are the problem going to actually help anything except for making them feel bad? A therapist might help them sure, but a random stranger over the Internet telling you that “you are the problem” or “you are being over sensitive” isn’t going to help them.

[CazzT]

Okay say hypothetically they actually do have a problem, maybe major depression, or social anxiety, or Aspergers, etc, how is telling them they are the problem going to actually help anything except for making them feel bad? A therapist might help them sure, but a random stranger over the Internet telling you that “you are the problem” or “you are being over sensitive” isn’t going to help them.

On the contrary, it can, and does, help. It helped me several years ago, I've seen it help friends and guildmates, too. Sometimes people don't realize their approach or perspective on a matter is the wrong one until it's pointed out to them. This is not a "works every time" thing, though. But to say it doesn't help is also not true.

[SerLuke]

On the contrary, it can, and does, help. It helped me several years ago, I've seen it help friends and guildmates, too. Sometimes people don't realize their approach or perspective on a matter is the wrong one until it's pointed out to them. This is not a "works every time" thing, though. But to say it doesn't help is also not true.

Okay that’s good I’m glad that helped you, can you see where I’m coming from though where it might not be helpful incases if actually mental illness?

Full disclosure I actually have all of those things I listed earlier I see a therapist and I’m on an anti depressant, while my blacklist isn’t 100% full it is getting there, I’ve gotten depression episodes of depression over rude/unkind/harsh things said to me in the game and my therapist told me that my best solution is to blacklist the person and move on and not deal with them anymore.

For me someone simply telling me that I have a problem or that I’m over sensitive doesn’t actually help me, I’m aware I have a problem, I’m aware I’m over sensitive, I’m aware I have trouble relating to people a lot of times, simply reminding me of those things just makes me feel bad and powerless it doesn’t help.

[CazzT]

Okay that’s good I’m glad that helped you, can you see where I’m coming from though where it might not be helpful incases if actually mental illness?

Full disclosure I actually have all of those things I listed earlier I see a therapist and I’m on an anti depressant, while my blacklist isn’t 100% full it is getting there, I’ve gotten depression episodes of depression over rude/unkind/harsh things said to me in the game and my therapist told me that my best solution is to blacklist the person and move on and not deal with them anymore.

For me someone simply telling me that I have a problem or that I’m over sensitive doesn’t actually help me, I’m aware I have a problem, I’m aware I’m over sensitive, I’m aware I have trouble relating to people a lot of times, simply reminding me of those things just makes me feel bad and powerless it doesn’t help.

We're not therapists. If someone knows they need one, I encourage them to seek one out. But online, you're going to be treated equally, as everyone should be. Which means you're going to be held to the same standard as everyone else. That standard is generally "if everyone around you is the problem, the problem is most likely not everyone around you".

Your own situation is actually a great example of this. Difference is, you know the problem lies with you. And that is not said in a negative way. Knowing ones own flaws is the best way to deal with them. We all have flaws, but when we use those as an excuse, especially then, it doesn't help the person. I'm not discouraging anyone to not use blacklist, I'm suggesting a better approach is, instead of using that, just move past the comments. They're a momentary thing anyway. If they're directed specifically at you, that's another matter. But just general conversation in public chat, blacklist is A solution, but I believe it's not the best one. This thread being a perfect example of why it's not the best, because it's limited. ( i feel like i started rambling, but i hope i made sense anyway )

[Valkyrie_Lenneth]

We're not therapists. If someone knows they need one, I encourage them to seek one out. But online, you're going to be treated equally, as everyone should be. Which means you're going to be held to the same standard as everyone else. That standard is generally "if everyone around you is the problem, the problem is most likely not everyone around you".

Your own situation is actually a great example of this. Difference is, you know the problem lies with you. And that is not said in a negative way. Knowing ones own flaws is the best way to deal with them. We all have flaws, but when we use those as an excuse, especially then, it doesn't help the person. I'm not discouraging anyone to not use blacklist, I'm suggesting a better approach is, instead of using that, just move past the comments. They're a momentary thing anyway. If they're directed specifically at you, that's another matter. But just general conversation in public chat, blacklist is A solution, but I believe it's not the best one. This thread being a perfect example of why it's not the best, because it's limited. ( i feel like i started rambling, but i hope i made sense anyway )

It's kinda like getting a restraining order against everyone who ever went the smallest bit out of line around you.

[Eldevern]

...

Over-sensitive and Hyper-sensitive is not exactly the same.

The first is more often someone like a SJWs who want to rebuild the world without even realizing he's caricaturing the reality (the ones who change the world are the ones who provide balance, not the ones who want to force-change or destroy. SJWs always forget that).

Hyper-sensitive is kinda different. Most of time hyper-sensitive people facing something they feel as offensive (even what is just a bad/stupid joke to take as a second degree) will rather close themselves back in their bubble rather than arguing and "fighting back".

The first wants to be the right, the bright side, whatever they are wrong or not, what they call, they believe to be justice will be everything for them.

The second, it can be solved explaining when there is a missunderstanding. The sad part is closed in their bubble, hyper-sensitive people hardly talk except if someone they really trust succeed to break the bubble a gentle way.

Of course there are, unfortunatly, really toxic people, but even hyper-sensitive people will hardly reach 200 people in the blacklist. They will close up in their bubble or give up the game before that.

SJWs can be kinda different... they have a ideal to fight for.

[Awha]

Okay say hypothetically they actually do have a problem, maybe major depression, or social anxiety, or Aspergers, etc, how is telling them they are the problem going to actually help anything except for making them feel bad? A therapist might help them sure, but a random stranger over the Internet telling you that “you are the problem” or “you are being over sensitive” isn’t going to help them.

As someone with many issues, it is not the responsibility of strangers to assume such things and plan their responses accordingly.

[SerLuke]

As someone with many issues, it is not the responsibility of strangers to assume such things and plan their responses accordingly.

Sure it isn't, but at the same time I think we should all take time to word our responses to people with a bit of patience and kindness and attempt to understand when interacting with total strangers, For example what one person would consider normal banter in a game another might get deeply hurt over, maybe even suicidal.

I'm just saying understanding why someone might be over-sensitive is a lot better than just going "you have a problem, get over it"

[Awha]

Sure it isn't, but at the same time I think we should all take time to word our responses to people with a bit of patience and kindness and attempt to understand when interacting with total strangers, For example what one person would consider normal banter in a game another might get deeply hurt over, maybe even suicidal.

I'm just saying understanding why someone might be over-sensitive is a lot better than just going "you have a problem, get over it"

This is coming from someone like yourself who suffers from a myriad issues. I agree it would nice, but it is all extremely unrealistic and so sort of a moot point in all of this. Here is the issue we do have problems, and in the grand scheme to most who do not know or suffer from said problems personally it is simply a get over it issue. Since that is how most people without our problems handle it by getting over it. Asking the general public how we with problems should handle something is honestly insane, and expecting the general public to cater their responses to us and consider our problems which many do not understand is selfish in my opinion.