What is social anxiety?

[HyperiusUltima]

I've asked this a bit here and there with my friends, but I haven't a clue as to what it is. Lately, I've felt like I've been alone and haven't had anyone to talk to; then there's the lack of confidence in regards to how I'm doing in a particular job, especially if it's healer or Tank. I know how people are quick to judge on those two jobs and the stress that it brings, but I've been playing this game for 4 years and have been wondering why I'm experiencing this now.

Is it because of the few days before expansion? Is it because I'm just an awkward person to talk to or be around? I just don't know and I'm asking for help in defining this problem.

[Vahlnir]

https://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/...ety-disorder#1

This actually seems to sum it up pretty well I think.

(Holy ads though batman)

I actually have it a bit myself, though it's largely triggered by large crowds IRL. I pretty much get the works: rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, dizziness, etc. I hate large gatherings.

[Gwenorai]

I think it's a lack of confidence in your ability honestly, rather than an anxiety issue - though I'm not a psychiatrist and you honestly shouldn't use internet sources or the likes for a diagnosis for such things. I don't like healing because all it takes is me to slip up and people die. I don't like tanking because all it takes is me to lose hate and people take a tank buster to the face. Though I know plenty who feel that DPS is actually the more stressful of jobs, at least for higher content as there will always be DPS checks, the need for uptime - etc. Anyway, my lack of confidence in myself results in me imagining the worst-case scenario and the reaction of people which can set something of, it has never happened but anxiety isn't actually all that logical.

If you're thinking about tanking/healing, I believe for now there's no real point in tanking/healing outside of HoH or PotD - the expansion should help a little with your fears as tanking will be easier - you won't be judged for being in tank stance, and the ways they've guttered healers honestly all you have to do is heal rather than dps and heal - which I could never really get the full balance of. Stone, stone, stone As an add on, why I said there's no point in tanking/healing is that its likely you're not that confident in the classes and perhaps don't have them levelled up. There's no point in learning the rotation when they're about to gut them in less than a week.

So you're not alone, don't worry about it! I know plenty of people like this! With the new trust system, you can go ahead and practise a little as well and hopefully overcome this nervousness and if it's something more than just a lack of confidence in yourself then you should seek the aid of a professional.

For me personally, my social anxiety just has me hide inside my house like a gremlin and not want to do things without my friends/family being there as a security blanket - to avoid certain symptoms- though it's a lot less 'not wanting to' and more 'I need them there to do things' in regards to my 'security blankets'. I go avoidance hardcore once I've been set off, or something that resulted in negative 'symptoms' will have me try with everything I have to try and avoid a repeat - including not repeating the activity. But best I not go on and on otherwise it's going to look like a pity party. Anyway, tanking and healing issue is just my lack of confidence in myself. So, the fear that I'll mess up, just flames on the anxiety that people will lash out and be turds, which in turn sets off more... unpleasant symptoms. And thus 'avoidance' becomes an all-time player. When I was practising tanking I went with a full group of my friends, which helped a lot. A lot of people are quite understanding during pugs if you explain that you're 'new' to tanking or 'getting used to tanking'.

P.S If you have really bad feedback which to such events, Nedkel mentioned a few - though this can also include nausea, chest pain (like you feel like you're having a heart attack) and intense sweating - you should really contact your GP who can hopefully put you forward to a professional who can give you a diagnosis and put you on treatment to help control it.

[Nedkel]

You are fine, social anxiety is a condition that is able to physically affect your quality of life, its a really strong dread and fear which you cannot control on your own.
People with this disorder often shakes when they find themselves in social interractions between people, unable to do certain actions during this stress, getting dizzy or lightheaded too. They also experience panic attacks and palpitations, this kind of feeling like you are getting a heart attack.
Feeling nervous around people or playing with them in the game is definitely not a social anxiety.

[Arngrim_Greyashe]

I was diagnosed with anxiety late last year, and the symptoms are as described by previous posts. It's something I had never had before and made me feel like I was having a heart attack. I also had increased heart beat from the panic, and a feeling of impending doom. Since then I've learned to tell when they're coming on and how to internally defuse myself before they can hit. What you have doesn't sound like that, but more so just a confidence issue.

[Eloah]

It's probably jitters or nervousness over something else; possibly the expansion like you said. Social Anxiety in a game like this or on the internet in general is rare, and even then the only times it ever really shows up is when real life situations come into play, like meet ups or using voice chats.

Games like FFXIV can actually help those with Social Anxiety, because it provides most a form of socialization, minus the socialization, as odd as that sounds. Basically, because there is that degree of separation between a real person and an avatar lessens the nervousness most people have. It helps one not feel as afraid to interact with people, since while we know there is a person on the other end, we don't perceive it that way. Interactions are a bit easier if we don't have an actual face to look at, or voice to hear. That's why people who are really shy in real life are able to express themselves on forums and the like. It can allow people to Express a bit more of the real them. Sadly, for some people the real them could be worse.

[boldpaste2]

Let me see if I can some it up in one sentence.

If you are prevented from participating in content because you are worried you wont measure up with the group or perform well, This to me is social anxiety in a nutshell. A far as this game goes anymore. Another example would be the feeling of not fitting in.

Edit: Just read Nedkel post. Nedkel is also right in this case where some people actually have it as a disorder. Though, you might hear it a lot for this game as it is easy to describe it as such.

[gman1311]

Google it, I’m sure you’ll find an answer.

[Gula]

You should consult a psychologist not a forum.

[HyoMinPark]

I don't think this is social anxiety so much as over-harsh self-criticism. Which may lead to anxiety (not necessarily the kind related to social interactions) due to your mind tormenting itself over every little thing. You may begin to think others will treat you the same way your mind is (e.g., you berate yourself for making a mistake, so you almost expect others to do it as well). It can also have a harsh, self-fulfilling prophecy to it - where you believe you'll fail and ultimately end up doing so due to a decrease in effort and a defeatist attitude (sort of a, "well, I'm going to fail anyways so why bother trying" kind of thing). This can cause your negative feelings to further spiral.

The feeling of being alone is probably brought on by the other negative things you're currently feeling. When our mind gets into a bad spot, it tends to think we're alone in it. Even if we aren't.

As for the cause, there could be any myriad of reasons for it. It's difficult to say without further context what could have prompted it.


I'm not a therapist by any stretch, but I think the best you can do is take measures to prevent this self-defeating, overly critical way of thinking. Easier said than done, but it can be done.