Need discord or ingame group

[Garten]

I feel like this is a nightmare happening again. Two years ago I raged quitted because of pvp, and now is happening again.. i have no proof to say that i do not think to be a total mess of a pvp player, i can only swear that i did my researches and i really pushed myself to improve both on the gameplay side that on the "strategies" side.. The problem for me is that i don't have any friend helping me and it feels like that (almost) EVERY SINGLE F.KING time i got punished by getting trown in a bad party, everybody saying;
"Chill out dude, just enojoy", "It doesn't matter to win","just do your daily","go mael if you want to win".
I have also joined (for the second time" to the paissa discord but that thing seems dead as my grandpa.
I'm tired
So go on and ban me again
shoot

EDIT: I mean, they could at least made the glamour set and the mounts purchasable with a LOT of wolf marks at least...