I need help understanding different personality types!

[Amariel34]

I have to admit. I'm still confused! What's the difference between one person's kids, or one person's health issues? Aren't those both personal issues? I mean, kids are a big part of someone's life. They're not just a fluff topic like the weather. Is there a possible disconnect between discerning where the line is between fluff and personal?

There could very well be a disconnect. I admit I don't know all the nuances of the condition. Just what I know about myself.

[AngelCheese77]

There are 2 types of autism from what I know. Speaking and Intelligence. For example, a neighbor of my sister in law has 2 sons. Both with autism. One does not speak, just using grunts and hand gestures. The other speaks but is still very "childlike" in intelligence, speaking out and saying inappropriate things.

My husband is on the lower end of the spectrum, where he also cannot read social cues (face and body language, tell when something is a joke, etc), but is highly intelligent and loves computers. For him, he is outgoing and loves to make friends, though he has terrible focus on stuff (getting him to do anything but the MSQ is impossble, and sometimes in dungeons his attention wavers so he can die in AoEs or just stands there, motionless).

Personally, I don't think it is proper to just tell a stranger you have X or Y issue. I find human beings to be judgemental, even if subconsciously. If you can find a group of like minded people, sure!

To the OP, if those you have spoekn with drifted off, don't take it personally. It's hard to understand what is going on in their mind. Who knows.

[Endeleon]

I think it's much more of the fact you are clearly belittling the discrimination and societal hardship autistic people face. I mean, there's currently a mass movement to avoid science which ends up killing peoples children simply because these people are terrified of autism... And your response to them being autistic is "As long as you don't lie to me, it's all cool!"... really? What does that have to do with anything? This shows your complete lack of understanding of their hardships, and people are well versed in recognizing these signs and basically knowing right off the bat that you won't really be accepting of them. It's basically like if you were talking about gay people and the second someone tells you they are gay, you say "As long as you don't hit on me, we are all good!" that's a homophobic tell, and people would rather just cut it off there than hoping you aren't the worst of the worst.

[JackHatchet]

There could very well be a disconnect. I admit I don't know all the nuances of the condition. Just what I know about myself.

Fair enough! But from my stand-point. Those are two things that I would compare to be equals. They're both personal, every-day things.

But for me. That's kind of a logical thing. I'd think of it more logically than the nuanced emotion. Both things affect people on a personal level. And both things are daily occurrences. So sometimes what confuses me is that I like to look at things from an extremely rational stand-point. Which is why I was talking about all the 'give and take' stuff in another post. I don't always catch nuance, and I'm a firm believer that sarcasm doesn't work on the internet. So I don't always catch sarcasm, but I can catch the context enough to comprehend that sarcasm would make sense in some situations.

I'm still not quite getting where people would feel ostracized from communities though. However, I could see if someone's kids were refereed to as 'small talk' being offensive to some folks. But I know it's not a purposely dimissial about the importance of one's child. Just how one person might not relate or understand.

I guess that's probably fair when it comes to mental-illness. Which kinda goes full circle with mental-illness. People without mental-illness often don't have a desire to learn about certain conditions--because it literally doesn't affect their lives in any way.

Maybe it's all a big circle of give and take. But the lines are always super gray on that stuff. =/

[JackHatchet]

I think it's much more of the fact you are clearly belittling the discrimination and societal hardship autistic people face. I mean, there's currently a mass movement to avoid science which ends up killing peoples children simply because these people are terrified of autism... And your response to them being autistic is "As long as you don't lie to me, it's all cool!"... really? What does that have to do with anything? This shows your complete lack of understanding of their hardships, and people are well versed in recognizing these signs and basically knowing right off the bat that you won't really be accepting of them. It's basically like if you were talking about gay people and the second someone tells you they are gay, you say "As long as you don't hit on me, we are all good!" that's a homophobic tell, and people would rather just cut it off there than hoping you aren't the worst of the worst.

We clearly live in two different parts of the world. I've heard of the anti-vaxx movement, but I figured it was just a joke about really stupid people. (like flat-earther stupid). If autistic people are getting harassed by anti-vaxxers than that's a shame. But I assure you, I'm sure they'd hate me just as much if I ever met one and talked about vaccines.

I'll be honest. An autistic or a gay person doesn't have to tell me that they're X, Y, or Z. And I'll tell anyone. Please don't lie to me. It's just my standard rule of friendship. It's not personalized towards autistic people. It's for everyone. Honestly, I wouldn't even know the difference between an autistic person and a non-autistic person except for the fact that people tell me they're autistic and that they struggle to fit in. I just want to understand why that is. Because to me, I don't notice a difference. Most people can't tell social cues to begin with. And most people love to complain and rant about things. These qualities aren't unique to autistic people. So I'm just trying to understand more about the community I'm a part of.

[Endeleon]

I'll be honest. An autistic or a gay person doesn't have to tell me that they're X, Y, or Z.

Ok but... I don't know if you understand that this in it's nature is discrimination. The fact that you think someone mentioning their autism or being gay is a burden or TMI and makes things uncomfortable but seem to understand people mentioning their kids as being small talk... This is ingrained otherness, aka discrimination.

[AngelCheese77]

We clearly live in two different parts of the world. I've heard of the anti-vaxx movement, but I figured it was just a joke about really stupid people. (like flat-earther stupid). If autistic people are getting harassed by anti-vaxxers than that's a shame. But I assure you, I'm sure they'd hate me just as much if I ever met one and talked about vaccines.

I'll be honest. An autistic or a gay person doesn't have to tell me that they're X, Y, or Z. And I'll tell anyone. Please don't lie to me. It's just my standard rule of friendship. It's not personalized towards autistic people. It's for everyone. Honestly, I wouldn't even know the difference between an autistic person and a non-autistic person except for the fact that people tell me they're autistic and that they struggle to fit in. I just want to understand why that is. Because to me, I don't notice a difference. Most people can't tell social cues to begin with. And most people love to complain and rant about things. These qualities aren't unique to autistic people. So I'm just trying to understand more about the community I'm a part of.

Anti-vaxxers, many I believe, think that vaccines actualyl CAUSE autism, which is a shame. But that's another topic entirely.

And to be frank, no matter how much you try you will never understand why they "struggle to fit in". Trust me. I have an autistic husband. Known him for 20+ years. And I still don't understand it fully even though I go to his therapy sessions and read information. The same as my family does not fully understand my anxiety and depression. Unless you actually have it and go through it ... the best is you can try to learn and keep learning.

The social cues issue is a real thing. For example, not being able to tell if what you are saying is hurting a person (that person may cross their arms or look angry). An autistic person would just keep going. Or, in reverse, if a person tells an autistic person a joke that SEEMS offensive, but that person is smiling when they say it, the autistic person takes it to heart and believes the joke was real and was to hurt them.

For talking, as an example, my husband loves computers, games, and technology. He can go on and on and on, and cannot read when I'm rolling my eyes or just saying uh huh and stuff. Cues that non-autistic people would read as "okay they are bored or upset etc, I should stop".

[SenorPatty]

There are much better places to seek help than an MMO's forum. How does this pertain to FFXIV at all?

Because it's the General forum

Like, really, really, general forum


I'm pretty sure I could start a thread about Dora the Explorer and as long as people kept posting in it, it'd remain on the first page.

This is probably the first game forum I've been in that is actually moderated in such a strange fashion.

[Endeleon]

Because it's the General forum

Like, really, really, general forum


I'm pretty sure I could start a thread about Dora the Explorer and as long as people kept posting in it, it'd remain on the first page.

This is probably the first game forum I've been in that is actually moderated in such a strange fashion.

I think the english mods gave up.

[JackHatchet]

Ok but... I don't know if you understand that this in it's nature is discrimination. The fact that you think someone mentioning their autism or being gay is a burden or TMI and makes things uncomfortable but seem to understand people mentioning their kids as being small talk... This is ingrained otherness, aka discrimination.

I don't quite follow. But I think this kind of discussion is worth having.

I don't think people mentioning that they're autistic is a burden. However, I'll admit that when people say "I tend to conflict with my community." It causes me to raise an eye-brow. "why is that?" And to me. I just don't see it. Like I said. I've played with a few autistic people. In FC, or in my static, or just folks I run maps with regularly. But I don't see any of the negativity. So when you say there's discrimination--I don't follow. I'll admit that when they first approached me and said "hey, things might be sketchy" that I was concerned. But through the follow-up--I never found any of those concerns to be validated.

An example with someone I used to raid with. They said they don't always mesh. I said that's fine. Just don't lie to me. You can rant or whatever all you want. And basically they were just like everyone else. Showed up. Did their thing. Sometimes they talked a little about a topic no one cared about. But nothing extreme. Like we all talk about something no one cares about from time to time. My current topic is Game of Thrones. So I get the concept of being excited about something and 'over-sharing." but I don't specifically attribute that to autism. Because that's an everybody-ism thing.

Then randomly that person will say they don't fit in. And it absolutely confuses the everliving-heck out of me. I'll be in their group, and we all have fun. They're not offensive. No one is offensive towards them. What exactly are they looking for? Why don't they feel like they fit in? I felt like they fit in. And this is basically the same story with every autistic person I met. They don't stand out to me. So I Clearly don't understand autism. And I guess I'm guilty of that. But again, that's why I'm trying to learn a little more.