I need help understanding different personality types!

[JackHatchet]

I think it's much more of the fact you are clearly belittling the discrimination and societal hardship autistic people face. I mean, there's currently a mass movement to avoid science which ends up killing peoples children simply because these people are terrified of autism... And your response to them being autistic is "As long as you don't lie to me, it's all cool!"... really? What does that have to do with anything? This shows your complete lack of understanding of their hardships, and people are well versed in recognizing these signs and basically knowing right off the bat that you won't really be accepting of them. It's basically like if you were talking about gay people and the second someone tells you they are gay, you say "As long as you don't hit on me, we are all good!" that's a homophobic tell, and people would rather just cut it off there than hoping you aren't the worst of the worst.

We clearly live in two different parts of the world. I've heard of the anti-vaxx movement, but I figured it was just a joke about really stupid people. (like flat-earther stupid). If autistic people are getting harassed by anti-vaxxers than that's a shame. But I assure you, I'm sure they'd hate me just as much if I ever met one and talked about vaccines.

I'll be honest. An autistic or a gay person doesn't have to tell me that they're X, Y, or Z. And I'll tell anyone. Please don't lie to me. It's just my standard rule of friendship. It's not personalized towards autistic people. It's for everyone. Honestly, I wouldn't even know the difference between an autistic person and a non-autistic person except for the fact that people tell me they're autistic and that they struggle to fit in. I just want to understand why that is. Because to me, I don't notice a difference. Most people can't tell social cues to begin with. And most people love to complain and rant about things. These qualities aren't unique to autistic people. So I'm just trying to understand more about the community I'm a part of.

[Endeleon]

I'll be honest. An autistic or a gay person doesn't have to tell me that they're X, Y, or Z.

Ok but... I don't know if you understand that this in it's nature is discrimination. The fact that you think someone mentioning their autism or being gay is a burden or TMI and makes things uncomfortable but seem to understand people mentioning their kids as being small talk... This is ingrained otherness, aka discrimination.

[JackHatchet]

Ok but... I don't know if you understand that this in it's nature is discrimination. The fact that you think someone mentioning their autism or being gay is a burden or TMI and makes things uncomfortable but seem to understand people mentioning their kids as being small talk... This is ingrained otherness, aka discrimination.

I don't quite follow. But I think this kind of discussion is worth having.

I don't think people mentioning that they're autistic is a burden. However, I'll admit that when people say "I tend to conflict with my community." It causes me to raise an eye-brow. "why is that?" And to me. I just don't see it. Like I said. I've played with a few autistic people. In FC, or in my static, or just folks I run maps with regularly. But I don't see any of the negativity. So when you say there's discrimination--I don't follow. I'll admit that when they first approached me and said "hey, things might be sketchy" that I was concerned. But through the follow-up--I never found any of those concerns to be validated.

An example with someone I used to raid with. They said they don't always mesh. I said that's fine. Just don't lie to me. You can rant or whatever all you want. And basically they were just like everyone else. Showed up. Did their thing. Sometimes they talked a little about a topic no one cared about. But nothing extreme. Like we all talk about something no one cares about from time to time. My current topic is Game of Thrones. So I get the concept of being excited about something and 'over-sharing." but I don't specifically attribute that to autism. Because that's an everybody-ism thing.

Then randomly that person will say they don't fit in. And it absolutely confuses the everliving-heck out of me. I'll be in their group, and we all have fun. They're not offensive. No one is offensive towards them. What exactly are they looking for? Why don't they feel like they fit in? I felt like they fit in. And this is basically the same story with every autistic person I met. They don't stand out to me. So I Clearly don't understand autism. And I guess I'm guilty of that. But again, that's why I'm trying to learn a little more.

[AngelCheese77]

We clearly live in two different parts of the world. I've heard of the anti-vaxx movement, but I figured it was just a joke about really stupid people. (like flat-earther stupid). If autistic people are getting harassed by anti-vaxxers than that's a shame. But I assure you, I'm sure they'd hate me just as much if I ever met one and talked about vaccines.

I'll be honest. An autistic or a gay person doesn't have to tell me that they're X, Y, or Z. And I'll tell anyone. Please don't lie to me. It's just my standard rule of friendship. It's not personalized towards autistic people. It's for everyone. Honestly, I wouldn't even know the difference between an autistic person and a non-autistic person except for the fact that people tell me they're autistic and that they struggle to fit in. I just want to understand why that is. Because to me, I don't notice a difference. Most people can't tell social cues to begin with. And most people love to complain and rant about things. These qualities aren't unique to autistic people. So I'm just trying to understand more about the community I'm a part of.

Anti-vaxxers, many I believe, think that vaccines actualyl CAUSE autism, which is a shame. But that's another topic entirely.

And to be frank, no matter how much you try you will never understand why they "struggle to fit in". Trust me. I have an autistic husband. Known him for 20+ years. And I still don't understand it fully even though I go to his therapy sessions and read information. The same as my family does not fully understand my anxiety and depression. Unless you actually have it and go through it ... the best is you can try to learn and keep learning.

The social cues issue is a real thing. For example, not being able to tell if what you are saying is hurting a person (that person may cross their arms or look angry). An autistic person would just keep going. Or, in reverse, if a person tells an autistic person a joke that SEEMS offensive, but that person is smiling when they say it, the autistic person takes it to heart and believes the joke was real and was to hurt them.

For talking, as an example, my husband loves computers, games, and technology. He can go on and on and on, and cannot read when I'm rolling my eyes or just saying uh huh and stuff. Cues that non-autistic people would read as "okay they are bored or upset etc, I should stop".

[JackHatchet]

Anti-vaxxers, many I believe, think that vaccines actualyl CAUSE autism, which is a shame. But that's another topic entirely.

And to be frank, no matter how much you try you will never understand why they "struggle to fit in". Trust me. I have an autistic husband. Known him for 20+ years. And I still don't understand it fully even though I go to his therapy sessions and read information. The same as my family does not fully understand my anxiety and depression. Unless you actually have it and go through it ... the best is you can try to learn and keep learning.

The social cues issue is a real thing. For example, not being able to tell if what you are saying is hurting a person (that person may cross their arms or look angry). An autistic person would just keep going. Or, in reverse, if a person tells an autistic person a joke that SEEMS offensive, but that person is smiling when they say it, the autistic person takes it to heart and believes the joke was real and was to hurt them.

For talking, as an example, my husband loves computers, games, and technology. He can go on and on and on, and cannot read when I'm rolling my eyes or just saying uh huh and stuff. Cues that non-autistic people would read as "okay they are bored or upset etc, I should stop".

Yeah, you've probably the right of it. Every so often I see some posts like the past few in General talking about people struggling and it inspires me to try and learn a little more. And I guess it's really frustrating to hit up against this wall of. "You'll never understand it, but it happens." It feels so defeating. Like there's no real solution to it.

I can understand some parts, because I was with someone with schizophrenia for 10 years. I understood the concept of hallucinations and inner voices. But I never knew 'exactly' what it felt like. But I was able to understand enough to communicate through it. Schizophrenic people have some pretty negative stigma around them too. BUT only to a small number of people. Which is why I struggle to believe that anti-vaxxers are a thing--let alone worth listening to. There's always that tiny minority that will hate someone who is different. But for the majority of people. I always saw the world as being incredibly accepting of mental-illness.