Was I in the wrong?

[Eloah]

Honestly, a lot of the replies on this thread make me sad. Some people just don't get it.

The simplest thing is this: Harassment is any, ANY, unwanted behavior that makes you feel uncomfortable. It doesn't matter how you rationalize it in your head that its "okay", even if it's culturally accepted, the other person doesn't even have to know it's harassment. But if it's a behavior that someone is doing specifically to you, that you find uncomfortable, that's harassment, pure and simple. It has nothing to do with thick or thin skin or understanding commonalities. Not to mention if it's brought to that persons attention and they still don't stop, well depending on what the harassment was, probable recoil is acceptable. In FFXIVs case reporting to a GM.

[Canadane]

Honestly, a lot of the replies on this thread make me sad. Some people just don't get it.

The simplest thing is this: Harassment is any, ANY, unwanted behavior that makes you feel uncomfortable. It doesn't matter how you rationalize it in your head that its "okay", even if it's culturally accepted, the other person doesn't even have to know it's harassment. But if it's a behavior that someone is doing specifically to you, that you find uncomfortable, that's harassment, pure and simple. It has nothing to do with thick or thin skin or understanding commonalities. Not to mention if it's brought to that persons attention and they still don't stop, well depending on what the harassment was, probable recoil is acceptable. In FFXIVs case reporting to a GM.

Sometimes life includes things you don't want to hear.
Someone may be playing very incorrectly, to the point they are unknowingly causing disruptions in the party.
You want an ice mage to never be told using fire spells is how the job works, simply because he may be offended over being told he's playing wrong? Want someone that doesn't know the difference between stack markers and proximity damage markers to never learn?

These are simple examples, of course. Lifes intricacies means much more subjective themes. You'll never be able to please everyone, so the best course of action would be open discussion. Not just blanket claiming everything can be considered harassment.

[Eloah]

Sometimes life includes things you don't want to hear.
Someone may be playing very incorrectly, to the point they are unknowingly causing disruptions in the party.
You want an ice mage to never be told using fire spells is how the job works, simply because he may be offended over being told he's playing wrong? Want someone that doesn't know the difference between stack markers and proximity damage markers to never learn?

These are simple examples, of course. Lifes intricacies means much more subjective themes. You'll never be able to please everyone, so the best course of action would be open discussion. Not just blanket claiming everything can be considered harassment.

I don't think you got what I meant. There is a difference between saying something someone doesn't wanna hear and harassing that person. In your ice mage example, if you try to tell them that they are doing something wrong by informing them about the proper way, that is not harassment, because it's not something directed at them it's directed to them; similar to the laughing with you or laughing at you thing. But if you were to poke fun at the way they play and how stupid they are for not using this spell or this rotation, then that would be harassment.

Plus, if the person on the receiving end says stop and you or anyone persist, then it's definitely harassment at that point.

[Veis_Alveare]

I don't think you got what I meant. There is a difference between saying something someone doesn't wanna hear and harassing that person. In your ice mage example, if you try to tell them that they are doing something wrong by informing them about the proper way, that is not harassment, because it's not something directed at them it's directed to them; similar to the laughing with you or laughing at you thing. But if you were to poke fun at the way they play and how stupid they are for not using this spell or this rotation, then that would be harassment.

Plus, if the person on the receiving end says stop and you or anyone persist, then it's definitely harassment at that point.

You're contradicting yourself.

You just said "But if it's a behavior that someone is doing specifically to you, that you find uncomfortable, that's harassment, pure and simple" and then tried to claim that there was more nuance there... which is it?

That ice mage might find the very idea of anyone suggesting they change anything they're doing uncomfortable. It isn't a logical response but it's defintely one a lot of people have to the point that "you don't pay my sub" is a meme here.

You don't get to decide what harrassment is, the system that would be punishing said harrassment does. In real life this is generally the legal system. I've known feminists when I was younger who thought a man holding the door open for them was harrassment but they can't call the police if that occurs because they'd be laughed at at best. That's good, their opinion of harrassment doesn't fall within the appropriate confines and is therefore irrelevant.

Being offended over something trivial is childish and entitled, it isn't something that rational adults often do and virtually never is it acted upon without that action being extremely petty.

[Eloah]

You're contradicting yourself.

You just said "But if it's a behavior that someone is doing specifically to you, that you find uncomfortable, that's harassment, pure and simple" and then tried to claim that there was more nuance there... which is it?...

I can see how you've come to that conclusion, but I didn't contradict myself. I specifically said behavior, and the act of conversation, without emotion, is not behavioral, as most text based communication is. Only when emotion is added does it fall under that category. The example that was provided by Canadane was exactly that.

But I will say that you are right there is probably more nuance to my statement than I initially indicated. And the gesture you gave, about the door, would be behavioral, and qualify. But as you said it would seem pointless in societal court.

On that note, I concede, so that the poor OP can rest.