Unbelievable Rudeness!

[Jaywalker]

As someone who grew up with the internet and had to figure this out, I actually think you have an opportunity to have a good talk with your daughter here.

There will always, always be rude people out there. Right now she's encountering them in a video game, but odds are one day she'll be encountering them at work, while driving, at school, on vacation... sometimes she'll probably even be rude herself. Occasionally it might be someone overall decent taking their foul mood out on innocent bystanders. Occasionally it's someone who would find an excuse no matter what. Some people just aren't mature enough to handle mild inconvenience with grace.

At the end of the day, it's important to be able to say ask yourself "and why should I value YOUR opinion?" People lately have been getting this idea that respect is something you're entitled to, but it's not. Basic decency and human dignity are, but respect is different. Respect is something you earn. If someone clearly has a stick up their ass, you can disregard their opinion. Or you can see if there's anything remotely useful, take that, throw out the rest. There are too many people in the world who all hold conflicting opinions to take everything everyone says to heart all the time.

It helps to look at guides. It helps to say you're new at the beginning of fights. Even with that though, messing up sometimes is inevitable and encountering snotty people is inevitable.

Dealing with jerks in a game is a relatively safe way to do it, compared to at a job for example. Personally, I'd suggest your daughter not give up on an MMO she enjoys but have a plan for herself in the event that she encounters someone like that going forward.

[SamSmoot]

As a parent you should take this moment to teach her how to deal with her reaction to people behaving in this way. The real world isn't always a kind place either and giving her the tools to deal with situations like this is giving her a leg up in life.

The way to deal with toxic behavior in this game is to report it and have the other player sent out for a break.

[Durandallwyn]

Thanks for the suggestions!

[Naoki34]

I was watching my 13 year old daughter playing a trial boss. And some mouthy little entitled twerp started blaming her cuz she was panicking a little and the party wiped. She was in tears and left. Now she\\'s saying she never wants to play again.
She\\'s always been a bit sensitive and shy but enjoys final Fantasy games even the old ones I grew up playing. She was very proud of herself for getting into stormblood and kept saying she was looking forward to the new expansion. Her confidence level was starting to show and it was a great way for us to do something together.
You rude players out there need to stop expecting others to be like you! Be understanding! you don\\'t have most of the facts and can\\'t judge them nor blame them. You do not know what is going on in other people\\'s environments, various distractions occur, and stop freaking out cuz your video game wasn\\'t perfect.

She is far too young to be confronted with the violence of the internet. It's a bit like a teacher-less recreation course, the size of the world.

Well, there are people who play WoW at a very young age, but sooner or later it must have happened unless you just play with her in the closed circle of your friends and FC members.

And as said above, she is confronted with pimply teenagers in search of themselves. And to the less young, who looks for performance.

I do not have to teach you how to educate your daughter, but it's like playing with teens and adults in a public square. And nobody to do the police.

[Avenger]

The weird thing about MMOs is that you get the good with the bad, much like real life. 99% of the time people are nice, but occasionally they aren’t and you have to figure out what to do.

It is definitely upsetting when people criticize you unfairly and boot you from an instance. Fortunately that seems to be pretty rare, and I figure if it happens then it is usually a get out of fail free card. If people are really harassing other players, that isn’t OK, and reporting and blacklisting can be used.

I like duty finder but I also like party finder and doing stuff with people from your friend list/free company/linkshell is a blast. Also playing with family and friends is great.

[Avenger]

After playing FFXIV a while, it doesn’t bother me quite as much when a 24p raid devolves into wipes and people blaming each other and rage quitting. It is kind of like getting to experience the “bad” ending of a game with multiple endings or the “game over” screen. You don’t need to win every time, and it is almost boring when you do.

That being said, I appreciate helpful and friendly players who don’t freak out when things don’t go perfectly.

[Liam_Harper]

Kids these days. When I was 13 I was playing vanilla WoW. Waaayyyyyy more provocative than this fairy tale. My advice, teach you kid to have tougher skin OR don't let your 13yr old play an online game.

It says a lot when the victim is the one being blamed.

Yes the child will have to learn to handle it. No it still isn't acceptable. No you should not quit online gaming entirely if rude behavior upsets you, even adults can have a temporary break down over a particularly bad pug run. I would quite freely bet a lot of gil that at least half the playerbase has felt like not playing due to rudeness at some point.

Threads like these spread awareness. There's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes players who might be nice people otherwise have stressful days, get frustrated in a shaky run and snap and lose their temper, unaware who the person behind the screen might be or what effect their words might have. It might make a few people think twice before throwing abuse in their next run and even that one gesture prevents someone elses day being ruined.

[Avenger]

Rereading the original post, I think it makes a really good point about being forgiving in a game played over the internet.

You never know whether a player might be a kid, or a great-grandparent (which is awesome btw), or might be new to gaming, or might have a disability, or might be experiencing crappy internet and lag, or might be sick, or might have unavoidable distractions like small children or parents or people knocking on the door at inopportune times.

[Vahlnir]

I would quite freely bet a lot of gil that at least half the playerbase has felt like not playing due to rudeness at some point.

I have had those days where rude behavior sorta ruined the game for me enough that I had to step away for a couple hours or even until the next day, but there's usually other things at play such as illness, a lack of patience to begin with or even just having a bad day all around. So yeah, it's definitely a thing, but I don't think it can necessarily be blamed on the bad behavior of players exclusively sometimes. Even when such factors aren't a thing, it has to take A LOT for that to happen, and that itself tends to be the result of multiple instances of encountering jerks. I'm speaking largely for myself but I would doubt that I'm the only one. I will admit though, a lack of player intelligence is what gets me more often than bad behavior. lol

[AxlStream]

You never know whether a player might be a kid, or a great-grandparent (which is awesome btw), or might be new to gaming, or might have a disability, or might be experiencing crappy internet and lag, or might be sick

Then boy do I have the solution for those! It's called "git gud". Honestly all you mentioned is nobody's concern. You shouldn't see players in your duty as anything else but NPCs that sometimes suprises you by not being completely inept.

It's not a meme that your squadron is better rhan other players.