Tldr: In my mind tank stances are currently a homogenous skill (executed in different ways) that conflates the enmity generation, defensive capabilities and dps balancing aspects of being a tank. If we took them away I think there would be more opportunities for creating unique tanking experiences by giving each tank tools to handle each thing in their own way.
Longer response:
I think the tank stance debate speaks to a number of different aspects of what it means to be a tank in FFXIV and the problem, in my mind, is it tries to solve too many things at once:
1) Damage balance and capabilities
2) Enmity management
3) Defensive capabilities
It then tries to create different ways of delivering this catch-all mechanic, which has the consequence of making things bland.
1) Damage balance and capabilities -
At the moment the only way of completing various encounters in the game is to deplete an enemy's HP pool. The only way of doing so is dps. Therefore, unless encounters either change the formula for success and / or completely removed the ability of tank and healer classes to do dps then there will always be a desire to maximise dps from all participants to ensure success i.e. the so-called dps meta isn't going anywhere.
The concern that tanks and / healers shouldn't encroach on DPS territory is sensible, but a tank stance doesn't need to do this. Just make it so that on a like for like basis on damage dealing skills tanks (and healer) dps is lower e.g. over three gcds if a dps on average deals 1000 damage, tanks and healers could be adjusted so that they only do 750.
This could be done via average potency reductions, fewer personal dps buffs, fewer DMG dealing ogcds or a combo.
Having done this I don't see any good reason for tank damage to be further compromised by a tank stance even where you have a 2 tank composition.
Instead the focus should be on differentiating and balancing how the different tanks deal damage. Stances could be one feature of delivering this like it is for Brd or BLM or Smn etc

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