About: Dungeon "anxiety", Being afraid of failing or getting back into the game

[MrKusakabe]

Dear Sirs and Madams,

my name's Mr. Kusakabe, retired Lalafell Blackmage and Scholar.

After defeating the Garlean army in what you Earthlings call "mid-2014" I offered my service to random groups in form of roasting and blowing up enemies with my black magic or taking care of your wounds and getting your dead bodies back onto your feet for a little longer until finally in "early 2015", I put my Stardust and Grimoire in a chest, together with my Evenstar and Daystar set (which are very iconic to me, I love these sets!) and closed it forever. "Wham!" - as the chest fell shut, the dust it blew in my face was an iconic moment. This is it. My subscription contracts with the forces of Eorzea and Grand Company will run out soon and then I am independent. "I made it!". What an adventure that was! From now on, I will enjoy the sweet idleness at the Costa del Sol, sip on some overpriced drinks and watch the feline dancers. This lasted for exactly four years....

Yesterday morning, it was a bit different though! A bit different is an understatement. I felt a will, no, an urge to be at the battlefields again. All the Feugas - this is what we German mages call "Fire III", all the satisfaction when I kept my mates in good shape when they trusted me their lives.. I miss the thrill! After I've met my far and distant relative in Guild Wars 2, my Asura fellow, which I visited often from 2015 'til yesterday I knew I gotta change something. He told me about the lack of progression from one point in his life. He wasn't all too happy. And I understand what he means. I was idling for 4 years. My magical skills are surely starting to slowly degenerate. After secretly casting the most important spells behind the Gridania inn - I would've tried it all alone inside the inn, but I think putting my inn room on fire by accident with all the wooden panels is not covered by my insurance - and boy, my first attempts were poor, which was not the fault of the cheap wand I borrowed. I forgot a lot of my former rotations! But it got a bit better as I kept on trying in a safe environment. Oh, and did I like it!

I could not wait to pay 13€ for game time sign in for new duties and advance! This fresh wind, this power inside me, my burning desire in my heart and soul - I felt it was time to study the art of magic further. Without much thinking involved, and with much euphoria, I almost blindly went to this filthy drinking hole in the desert to meet this cat in red. He showed off his redmage skills - dear god, this could be it! Magic and Melee?? I could follow my blackmage roots, learn something new and keep me physically active.

Can't remember what followed, it might be the beer or the absolute euphoric feeling, but I woke up in my Gridania inn room with a red stone in my bag, those awesome clothes, some paperwork from Mr. Redcat - this guy's actual name, geez! - and my Rapier. Not the best model, but it was free, and surely enough for the first steps of learning! It's also the first time ever my Lalafell hands wield a blade in my entire life! Magic and physical attacks. That is such a change! Even though I am not sure if my middle-aged Lalafell'in body can do that...

So, here I am! I am an apprentice again!

Very unsure if this an upgrade or downgrade - most certainly the former! - but I do not really feel ready! Before I retired, I could go into all duties and pull my weight there. Not being kicked once, never caused mad beef. But now? I try to remember the moves of the Temple of Qarn. I think I have them. What about this place with the ants? Oh...quicksand? Or was it... Dammit!

The fear of failing overcomes me with such a force that I had to sit on my inn's bed and rethink my entire situation. This crippling fear of being absolutely bad and useless almost petrified me. Those four years - everything changed. I can barely figure out the menus as I've never played the game before! All people, even beginners around me, seem to know what to do. They are Level 70 - veterans. And I am at 2.0!
-------
I played 9 years of League of Legends, 99% of that with random groups. I did not mind that. In fact, it was fun what kind of ret... weird fellas I might get! Like spinning the wheel of idiots! Sometimes, however, you met outright awesome people!

Since I quitted both GW2 and LoL at around the same time while my interest in my Lalafell grew at the same time, I had an empty spot in my video game collection: There are shooters, economy simulations, racing games, stealth games. But no MMO.

So while I am here, basically coming for other players, for you, I also feel very angsty about it! In GW2, I could take care of myself. Running dungeons was not a thing, and surviving on my own was not a problem either.

It was yesterday when I tried an attempt. Guess what? I signed in for Sastasha. Knowing it would be nothing worth as most of my skills are locked anyways. Before I could even form a full party, I logged off. As a retail worker, I am not an anti-social person at all! For some reason however, I have the pure fear going into random dungeons. As I am not a Linkshell person or a fan of FCs as well, I am basically forced to search for groups. But unlike real life, where you can see other people's faces, you can see their emotions - here, you have a bunch of high level people that expect - rightfully so! - a full party member. But how can I achieve that?

I am stuck in a loop here a bit. I order to get experience, I need to fail first. My cousin - who started with me in September 2013 - also hyped up to buy and install all expansions. So we are two DDs - me with the healer option - that know jack sh@$ about the game. While I even think about doing something we both despise - looking up guides before playing the actual game - he seem to be very optimistic by just jumping in. How can he be so relaxed?

So, what do you think about that?


- Is it really all good?
- Is it me with a wrong view on the whole matter?
- Am I talking about the devil so ehe shows up - but only in my mind while the actual situation ingame is far, far more relaxed?
- What is your threshold of bad play(ers)?
- What would you expect from a freshling like me when we meet in a dungeon?
- How do you handle this / people like me? Or do you have any good advices for a Stormblood owner that is actually right after ARR? I am lost both ingame and stuck with this "fear"!

You can't expect me to dive into a Level 50 content as a fresh Redmage apprentice. I had the chance to learn the professions slowly, now I need some ways to do so - most preferrably with a way to gain EXP on the way, too!

I am open for any advice!

Sincerely,
Zedek Kusakabe

[Ceridwenae]

I'm a nervous person with anxiety and generalised dungeon fears (!), but if you're just running small stuff and need someone to share the trauma, I can tank or heal for you. Tanking may be better, though! We're on the same server, so just look for or message/mogmail Cheeze Toastie and see if I'm available. Just offering to do this is scary for me (!), but I will do my best to get you and your friend through early dungeons so you have a chance to learn stuff at your pace with no harsh judging. You find someone else with a similar outlook for the last spot and it's good.

As for RDM, I just recently started having a look at it myself, and as with any job the best starter advice is to read those tool tips. I also used this Reddit link here and the image it has up as a basic reference chart. You won't have all the skills on there in early dungeons, obviously, but follow the order with what you have and add them as you go. And use Scatter for 3 or more mobs as per standard AoE rules.

[TheMightyMollusk]

And use Scatter for 3 or more mobs as per standard AoE rules.

Scatter spam at 4+. At exactly 3 mobs, use Scatter, then dualcast Verthunder or Veraero, whichever color mana is lower. This builds your mana gauge faster, leading into more Enchanted Moulinet use.

[MrKusakabe]

I'm a nervous person with anxiety and generalised dungeon fears (!), but if you're just running small stuff and need someone to share the trauma, I can tank or heal for you. Tanking may be better, though! We're on the same server, so just look for or message/mogmail Cheeze Toastie and see if I'm available. Just offering to do this is scary for me (!), but I will do my best to get you and your friend through early dungeons so you have a chance to learn stuff at your pace with no harsh judging. You find someone else with a similar outlook for the last spot and it's good.

As for RDM, I just recently started having a look at it myself, and as with any job the best starter advice is to read those tool tips. I also used this Reddit link here and the image it has up as a basic reference chart. You won't have all the skills on there in early dungeons, obviously, but follow the order with what you have and add them as you go. And use Scatter for 3 or more mobs as per standard AoE rules.

Thank you so much for this nice offer, Mrs...Toastie!

"Sharing the trauma" made me smile This flowchart is nice! I've seen a different one that looked half-assed, but this one is really like a good start. Almost as helpful as the Wendy's training VHS video on how to make a good burger.

I would come back to the helping hand of yours when I have a specific problem though. Why? I would not tackle my problem. Imagine we do run something, all is good. But then, I'd need to pug up with randoms and I am here again.

But thank you very much for your nice words

[Ceridwenae]

Thank you so much for this nice offer, Mrs...Toastie!

"Sharing the trauma" made me smile This flowchart is nice! I've seen a different one that looked half-assed, but this one is really like a good start. Almost as helpful as the Wendy's training VHS video on how to make a good burger.

I would come back to the helping hand of yours when I have a specific problem though. Why? I would not tackle my problem. Imagine we do run something, all is good. But then, I'd need to pug up with randoms and I am here again.

But thank you very much for your nice words

You're very welcome, and I totally understand where you're coming from! You just let me know if there's anything I can help with at any point. The offer will stand!

[Lissyl]

I've seen a different one that looked half-assed, but this one is really like a good start. Almost as helpful as the Wendy's training VHS video on how to make a good burger.

I had no idea I needed this video in my life. O.O
As a side note, seeing the Wendy's Salad Bar made my eyes mist up. I miss salad bars. Sniff.

On topic, I relate to dungeon anxiety far more than I should, good thread. =)

[legione]

you silly lala ,everything is a downgrade from playing blm

[MrKusakabe]

you silly lala ,everything is a downgrade from playing blm

You are right, I love Blackmage.

But look, my entire life is Black, White ... and red. Here is, for example, my office.

I even painted those lanterns black and white myself, with each a white and black candle in it... You know, stuff like that.

This balance of those clean colours (black/white) with a spot of colour (red) is something that gives me strength. It relaxes me. Reading about RDM using this got me hyped. I know, sounds weird, and it is indeed odd, but meh, that's what floats my boat.


My entire appartment is like that. Even my art, like the portrait of Victoria von Hagen, from the 1952's Vogue magazin to the left, follows this scheme. The only spot of some other colour is the picture to the right.
It was really like I said in my opening post, a thought that I had directly after getting up! As if I dreamed about it, and I really wanted it. Felt like my brain was doing concrete plans and when I woke up, it was: "This is what you do today!!"
I've literally stumbled over a Redmage image and then I realized it's a mix of my personal favourite colours, I got hooked. And then I slept like 2 nights until my subconscious mind formed the plan to advance in the RDM direction.

But else, here is my wallpaper - that I even used when I was already plaing GW2 ^^

Blackmage actually put me away from Bard..

[CptEgo]

I'm fucking terrible and I haven't had any shit from anyone, although I have only been playing for a few months. I also don't give other people any shit when they suck.

[MrKusakabe]

I'm fucking terrible and I haven't had any shit from anyone, although I have only been playing for a few months. I also don't give other people any shit when they suck.

Haha, you are already better than many people by admitting your limits. I also do not flame here, because those perfect dance choreographies are sometimes impossible. Just one person missing up a bit can shake up the entire bossfight and lopside it to die.
Yesterday I didn't realize my Eos died and I almost killed the tank. After that boss, the new DD always took aggro. Nobody said something, which was kind of a good sign.