Looks like I'm going to be looking for a new FC (rant)

[Gemina]

Wow! What a day, and I am truly exhausted. I wanted to give an update to the situation. I also wanted to thank all of you again, along with my fellow Sirenians whom some reached out to me in-game while I was logged on. This community truly is the best. That is one thing I am certain of, and I think Yoshi and company would smile upon us all if they were aware of today's events. But like some of you have pointed out, variations of such encounters can be found all over the place on all servers and DCs.

So I did end up leaving the FC, and I had a feeling I would not be able to do so without them putting up a fight. And fight they did. All of them, including the guild leader. But I will get to that. I was going to send them all mail letting them know of my departure, but I didn't really get the chance. One by one they showed up at my house. One also brought the minion and despite my numerous attempts to not accept the trade, just kept initiating the trade with me until I accepted. We'll call him the 'Stubborn Knucklehead'. They also brought a linkpearl so we could all communicate though the FC leader was not part of these communications. However, they remained in FC chat with her.

During the LS chat, a lot of things were discussed and they let me know that the guild leader was feeling very badly about what happened and she very much wanted to fix things. They convinced me to at least hear her out before leaving permanently. We talked about how we are very much like a family, and things would never be the same if anyone left. A lot came out. Other members were also admitting to their own faults and how they could do things better.

During my conversation with the FC leader, which lasted for the better part of a couple of hours (I was going to post some of the chat, but it's just way too much), some things finally came out. She danced around some of my questions at first, but I told her that it wasn't going to work, and she had to answer them. But I asked her if she was jealous or felt threatened by me, and she admitted that she was and couldn't help but wonder why everyone is so quick to help me as they once did with her. It drove her a little batty that I geared up so quickly after hitting 70, and she could not understand why I seem to just have all the luck. She had three maps that night, and not one portal opened for her. Me though? First map, portal - acquired thief's map upon completing the dungeon; next dungeon doors kept opening, mini bosses, madragoras, card game played, max loot, ridiculously cute minion etc. I had to remind her what I hard time I'm having right now, and maybe... just maybe things like that happen to give me a little breather, and it was not right to strip that from me.

Because she admitted to her wrong doings, told me why she acted in the manner she did and apologized, and said it would be an honor to still have me in the FC and would do what it takes to fix things, I told the other mates that I think things will be ok. I didn't go back into the FC just yet though, but said that I was still hurt and was extremely exhausted. They along with another poster in this thread advised that a take a bit of a break from the game, and I think they're right. With the appeal hearing coming up and having to face my jerk of an ex boss, and getting all my ducks in a row; still finding another job and getting my car fixed, my focus should probably not be on the game right now. It will still be here when I return and so will my in-game family.

Ugh! my face just hurts right now. I am famished and deprived of sleep. So break it is. Once I get some things sorted out I'll return. I probably won't be around here much either but I promise I'll be refreshed given just a little time. But right now I just want to listen to streams flowing down a mountain and other soothing sounds of nature.

I'll be back soon Eorzeans!

[Canadane]

Best of luck to you. Truly.

[Soupa]

snip

Me thinks a leader whose willing to scam their members out of rare minions like that isent to be trusted with a leadership status to begin with. Consider possible changes to whose leading the company unless she really makes up for it herself, not via anyone else.

[Ceridwenae]

Wow! What a day, and I am truly exhausted...

Good luck with your RL stuff. I really hope everything works out in your favour.

As for taking a break from the game, yep, that seems wise. Your RL stuff should always come first. If I may offer a suggestion, however, don't forget to have some fun time too! If your fun is typically playing this game, why not make a no-frills, no-worries alt on a different server? Regardless, it sounds like you have broken down some walls with your FC leader, and that can only be a good thing to help you heal in time.

Again, good luck. <3

[Kaelah]

Thanks for updating, I'm glad to hear some lovely folks on your server reached out to you, I love this community at times.

Sounds like that was a much needed chat with the FC lead, her actions were still very wrong though, a break from the FC is definitely wise. I've taken breaks from the game during hard times too, they can make you enjoy the game all the more when you return. I hope things improve for you and you come back soon.

[Alrin]

Stay strong Gemina and believe in yourself.

You should start your own FC. It sounds like you would be great guild leader. Im sure that your friends would follow you there.

And about RL... fingers crossed! Things will be okay soon!

[UnrealTai]

I had to stop reading after the part about making you all sit there to complete her airship pieces and keeping the gil.

I volunterd to help someone in PF do theirs ONCE and it was the most painful experience ive had in the game. (notice I joined this forum when it re released in 2011 so it says alot)
I would never ask others to constantly sit in there for me, and if i did id give gil for it.

I would have dropped that Fc after a single day.

Edit: ok Ive read everything including the update now.
She sounds like a sociopath honestly. And I dont mean that loosely. Something about the way her apology is described sounds very artificial. Takes one to know one, I used to be one, a long time ago. Not sure how or why I changed and both happy and sad I did. Anyways

I would stay away from her. Hard to explain without making this a book as to what Im seeing in her behavior.

Ill try to put it into one paragraph. Someone who constantly, screws you over, then feigns apologizing each time, is just using that apology to play you, the non sociopath, right into their hand, because they know you have emotions which they do not. Which is why they keep doing it. She doesnt think twice about it nor lose any sleep.

Getting your life together also requires a balance, while you have things to fix IRL that doesnt mean forget enjoying games altogether too. Fix your life and keep playing here and there. And Id strongly advise ignoring statements from your friends where even her name is mentioned and talk about somehing else when she coms up. Just shut her out.

[Gemina]

I had to stop reading after the part about making you all sit there to complete her airship pieces and keeping the gil.

I volunterd to help someone in PF do theirs ONCE and it was the most painful experience ive had in the game. (notice I joined this forum when it re released in 2011 so it says alot)
I would never ask others to constantly sit in there for me, and if i did id give gil for it.

I would have dropped that Fc after a single day.

Edit: ok Ive read everything including the update now.
She sounds like a sociopath honestly. And I dont mean that loosely. Something about the way her apology is described sounds very artificial. Takes one to know one, I used to be one, a long time ago. Not sure how or why I changed and both happy and sad I did. Anyways

I would stay away from her. Hard to explain without making this a book as to what Im seeing in her behavior.

Ill try to put it into one paragraph. Someone who constantly, screws you over, then feigns apologizing each time, is just using that apology to play you, the non sociopath, right into their hand, because they know you have emotions which they do not. Which is why they keep doing it. She doesnt think twice about it nor lose any sleep.

Getting your life together also requires a balance, while you have things to fix IRL that doesnt mean forget enjoying games altogether too. Fix your life and keep playing here and there. And Id strongly advise ignoring statements from your friends where even her name is mentioned and talk about somehing else when she coms up. Just shut her out.

I get what you're saying, and I don't want you think that I am throwing caution into the wind. I am not someone who is unfamiliar with the behavioral patterns of a sociopath. I dated one several years back, and I know all about fake flake apologies, empty promises and manipulation. I took a lot of things into consideration, which is why I did not just hop back into the FC after my discussion with her, and decided to take a break from the game. It's going to take some time to heal from this and everything that has been going on. She's not someone who has "constantly" screwed me over, but her previous behavior is most certainly unacceptable, and I will not be taken for granted.

However, other things have to be taken into account as well such as my emotional instability, and allowing things in the real world to bleed into the game. It isn't just her testimony but the other FC members admitting their own faults and advising me to hear her out after their own discussions with her. It is clear at this point that leaving the FC affected everyone. I did not expect anyone to leave with me, and mentally prepared myself to be on my own again, but I also did not expect them to fight so hard in the name of the FC. What I determined is that the FC leader is not the FC. The other members weren't fighting for her, or even me. They were fighting for the FC, which basically goes bye bye if any of the core members leave for good. Everyone knows that should I make the decision to come back, some things are going to have to change and nothing less than those changes are going to keep this thing together.

In short, this is bigger than just myself or her. I was also being quite selfish during all of this making it all about me and my feelings, and not even considering how my departure would make the others feel and react, and I feel horrible for it. Trust me, this was not brought to my attention by anyone other than myself after I have processed some of my thoughts and allowed myself to cool down enough to think rationally again. However, I do greatly appreciate the warnings. They are most certainly justified.

[Jillian]

Sorry for what you are going through OP. I hope things get better for you. As for what happened between you and your old FC leader, don't blame yourself. You were just trying to be a good person and a good friend. You obviously try to see the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt, which is not a bad thing. Try not to be too hard on yourself and use this as a learning experience.

Most people I've run into on this game are genuinely nice people and I'm lucky to have found the good friends I have now in my FC. Eventually, you will find a good FC with great people. You could always create your own FC with some of the people you get along with (That's what I did.) Either way, don't let one bad apple make you doubt yourself. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made in the past and continue to be a kind and considerate person. You shouldn't have to carry around this burden of guilt; you deserve better.