I don't think it's possible to play with the level of puritanism you want, you admit you have a black and white view of the ToS, but the majority don't view it that way, not even the GMs view it that way cos they let a looot of things slide, perhaps you should relax those standards if this is affecting your enjoyment.

The only rules that matter are having fun and not impacting someone else's gameplay negatively. Nearly all forms of automation will impact someone else negatively even if just by messing up the economy, but personal parses? data mining? mods? No one is being harmed. Just don't be a dick and don't try to gain unfair advantage over other people and you should be fine, everything else doesn't matter.