What is a "bad player" to you?

[Jaywalker]

Had a situation when I was in a raid (Orbonne I think) where I died two or three times in quick succession. IIRC it was my first run and while I'd been doing fine before that point, a friend of mine started messaging me in a panic about something work-related. I considered the panic an overreaction (it was mainly 'what if' stuff) but my friend was still very upset, and I did want to help her out of that. So I was trying to both reassure her and DPS simultaneously. I'm console, so the "calm friend down" bit was on laptop while I'm still managing rotation and trying to dodge with controller. Basically one hand typing other hand running and attacking. Didn't feel like I could drop either in good conscience.

One of the healers in the group, when I went down the final time for that boss, told me I wouldn't get a raise unless I swore to run to the other side of the arena. I apologized and explained the situation, got the raise, it was fine... but that exchange felt really really weird to me. I totally accept I was not performing up to standards there. Based on horror stories here and in Duty Finder thread, I also know there are players who are deeply incompetent jerks too. At that stage it was impossible for other people to tell what kind of player I was/why I was having trouble. 100% understand the frustration. Just feel weird about the ransom thing.

I don't have any ill will toward the healer and I wouldn't necessarily call them bad for that moment either. But knowing here people are debating bad player calls a lot, were there things that either of us could have/should have done differently in your opinions? Did we both handle stuff the best way we could have under those circumstances? I hadn't mentioned the issue to my party earlier because typing with controller can take a bit and I didn't want to make things worse with me lagging instead of DPSing.